words from a broken soul

Drown

It's easy to drown in life not by choice
Life is this chaos and hectic thing
Always has been buy chaos that's
All I've know growing up there
Was only peace and quiet when I was deaf
And when I was the only one awake at
Night thanks to untreated insomnia
It's easy to drown in life not by choice

But when you go deaf you drown in
The everlasting silence that your forced
Into the only solace I had was the voices
In my head to keep my deteriorating sanity
Intact for how much longer your guess is as good as mine
The saying learn to swim or drown it's
A bitter truth to the world if your not
Valuable to the system you get shafted
And drowned out by those who are more
Akin to robots or slave who barely get
A paycheck to survive the next week
It's easy to drown in life not by choice

Thing is some people they get beat down
At such a young drowning seem nice
Death seem like a freeing idea it sure
Did to me never tried to snuff out
The flame that's flickering in and out
That is what I call my life simply
Because of how much pain it would cause
But I've been drowning with those thoughts
Since I was probably in fourth grade
Chaos and hectic nature at home growing up
It's easy to drown in life not by choice

After those who meant the world to me
Became dead and a ghost in one case ashes in the others case
I became cold and numb wore a mask
Just to be betrayed by my eyes
The always conveyed a soulless look
But that's from the perspective of my own
The love I felt for half my family died
When they abused us the hell we when through
It's easy to drown in life not by choice

It altered everyone of us now We're broken
Just in each of our own ways I left with
A fractured self image not to mention
The loss of insanity I didn't know it then
But I was just a kid try be normal when
I knew that was nothing but lies and fake trust
When you find out you disowned you might
Be devastated me I was fucking happier
Than sport fanatic whose team won the championship
Because truth is I disowned that side of
My "family" they moment I learned I spent
My entire life up till I was nine being fed lies
It's easy to drown in life not by choice

To those who find the perfect balance of life
Props to you I couldn't find the balance
To this game called life because I'm always
Looking for signs on who to trust and who
Might betray me like my eyes do and get
Another knife stabbed into my back
Another life lesson to add to the collection
Of my trust be misplaced even in myself
It's easy to drown in life not by choice