I've had pain Inflicted on me for most my life
Now I'm the one inflicting it
Have a habit of punching myself or
The wall
The thing is I stopped for awhile
Now I've relapsed
The pain it makes me feel alive
The pain shuts him up
Now the pain just eggs the sick fuck on
Reminding me this tactic is a bust now
Yet I keep inflicting pain on myself
You wanna know why (oh)
It's because I deserve it
I deserve the pain I've Inflicted on others
And so much more
Every time my fist meets the wall
I feel the pain erupt through my hand
Thinking I deserve to feel pain
But the thing is we never deserve pain
It's Inflicted by others then we start
Doing it to ourselves because the
Brain became hard wired to feel pain
Instead learn to talk to someone why
You feel this way or
Find a way to get that sweet copium
Anything to break the hard wiring
That you deserve pain
You may think that but your friends don't
They won't judge you for needing to vent
Because the truth is we've all self harmed
Each in our own ways
One might've been a cutter
Another a puncher
Someone might've been a burner
I'm two of these
But I know I don't deserve the pain
But the pain is like a drug
It makes you feel alive
Feel like you're in control
Of something when you never felt in control
It becomes addictive
Then it's a plaguing thought in
The back of your head
It's an itch that needs to be scratched
Something that you think needs to be done
The truth is that's a lie when you accept
That and find support from friends and family
You don't get that high anymore
But that might lead to inflicting more pain
That's what happened to me
Now I'm just back to being numb emotionally
It's not healthy I know but hey gotta feel
The sadness for me to inflict pain on myself
Now I still feel emotions but
There muted as if they were
Far away from me they're there but not
All at the same time fleeting
Like leaves in the autumn wind
Yet I can still feel them just not for long
Unless I'm spiraling then I feel too many
Mostly anger and sadness but
I ride the wave out by making poems
YOU ARE READING
words from a broken soul
Poesiejust a collection of free verse/rondel poems(short stories to lengthy ones I guess) I've written over the course of ten months so far some won't be uploaded as I know they would get flagged as to dark of topics so yeah enjoy or don't. Feed back is h...
