words from a broken soul

Abyss

The abyss is anything and everywhere
I've got an abyss with in been there for
So long don't know when it truly formed
Everywhere I look I see the abyss with in
My eyes shine like the light that's absent
The abyss is shrouded In darkness yet
Shadows of the past seem to bleed through
Yet I can never escape the abyss it's
Filled with the scarred memories the void
Likes to reintroduce the trauma with flashbacks
The abyss is anything and everywhere

The abyss filled with the sickening void
Hellbent on making sure that I'm not forgetting
What caused me to be parts broken main
One hanging on to sanity by a mask yet
That masks is breaking and crumbling
Gotta quickly fix it so no one knows how
Much one soul has been damned by the
Past filled with nothing but trauma and hatred
The void whispering in a sickly voice lies
That one has accepted as truth unable to
Trust that these are the truth yet knowing
The void in the abyss is whispering lies
The abyss is anything and everywhere

This abyss within myself is nothing more
Than the self hatred I have for failing myself
Yet what could I do I was a child forced
Through hell and pain that was incomprehensible
The brain fractured just to survive the hell
Became numb and cold just to live a life in
Uncertainty because unknowns were never good
They've given me more pain yet I'm not
Sure if I'm living at all do I have a pulse yes
Do I breath to live yes but why do I feel like
I'm a ghost puppeting a corpse in an abyss
Full of people who I'm unable to truly trust
Can't even trust myself because of the past
Horrors follow me around like the shadows
I hide in to avoid being hurt again because
This life I've lived has been nothing but a farce
The abyss is anything and everywhere

When you pretend to be fine you'll start to
Believe that you truly are fine yet I know
I'm anything but fine been dealing with this
Single fact all my life knew I wasn't normal
Yet I'm okay being an anomaly because it's
The only thing I've ever truly knew and understood
The abyss can't be filled don't know if it will
Ever get filled let alone if it can be filled yet
I'm okay having this abyss because I feel
Like it has been there since I was a child
The abyss is anything yet I know it's the
One thing I craved growing up love to feel
Loved yet all I got was pain used as a sex toy
Maybe a punching bag by another yet it
Made me desensitized to it all but also
Produced me to not know how to be affectionate
I'm quite rude to everyone I know it just depends
On the level of how close we are how rude I'll be
The abyss is anything and everywhere

My head filled with so many things yet blank
Yearning to feel loved that I'll hunt for
An oasis in the desert just to fool the
The pain that the abyss fills in me burning
In the desert heat uncaring if I become
Nothing more but smoke and ash because
The fire from the sun is bleeding the truth
That I've always been lovable yet ignorant
Of the sun bleeding this truth because it's
Preprogrammed in the void filled abyss that
I'm just some mistake an unlovable fuck up
That's what I see myself yet I know it false
But what can I do when I've never cared for
The corpse I've become only care about others
Because it was beat out of my to think
I have anything of value just another face
That's meandering in the sea of others
Nothing more than a ghost controlling a corpse
The abyss is anything and everywhere