words from a broken soul

Flashback

For some they're harmless no they're not
For others they remind them of a past best
Left and abandoned yet they can't escape
From the flashbacks that drags them to the
Damn lane of memories that they can't seem
To be able to escape from eventually the
Void comes a knocking and dragging you
For some they're harmless no they're not

To relive the things you wish you could just
Turn into smoke and ash to be lifted from
The curse of wondering when will the void
Come a knocking but sometimes the void
Doesn't come a knocking it's things you out
Of your control that drags you into your own
Little personal hell because triggers can be
Just about anything can be a trigger when
Your have ptsd or the worse version c-ptsd
For some they're harmless no they're not

The harmless flashbacks they're usually
The good times you've had in the past
Yet the harmful flashbacks out way the good ones
This is just my personal experience of things
The heartache of the good times of a past
That's been forgotten by everyone but me
I rather take a harmful one over the good
The good leave a worst taste in my mouth
For some they're harmless no they're not

Reminders of what I had and lost because of
The person I was in the past but their dead
Now I'm left in their place a cold and numb
Person curious to what that joyful lad thinks
Of me because they've probably teach me
A thing or two shame they fell down the well
The bad I've adapted to the learned the skills
I needed to curb them in their tracks yet
The good just makes sick of what I'm unable
To forget because those past events have
Also become imprinted onto my ashen soul
They're harmless for some no they're not

I rather go back to the hell I became numb to
Because I can't look myself in the eyes
Not when I failed myself and everyone I've
Known throughout my years of surviving
Never really living no Just living became
A ghost more akin to a corpse living in the
Shadows because that's where I belong
I'm just the last resort friend for most
Not even bothered by it because I've
Been battling with myself to show the value
I might have to others despite wearing this
Mask on my face to hide the pain and demons
Because it's all I've been good hiding things
For some they're harmless no they're not

Hiding pretty much everything behind a mask
Because it's all I've known since growing up
Pretend your fine because you're useless
If you're weak to everyone with strength
Nothing more than dead weight to friends
No will to live because of the nightmares
That people pretend they aren't until you
Have no escape from the pain they force
You to endure just to survive yet you come
Out altered when you do find the way to
Escape and then you cherish the freedom
Yet you fear people because the trust you
Once had in them is nothing more than shattered glass
For some they're harmless no they're not