Self hatred & Doubt

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I hated myself for so long never really like how I looked
Never liked my body
Never liked my attitude
Never liked being labeled a pessimistic person

With what I went through it's no wonder I see the negative side of things
I was raped so often that I can still hear his FUCKING voice
Saying I should've been a girl that I was worthless besides being his sex toy and punching bag

All the while that was going on I was being "taught how to please a women" by his mom
I was molested is how I see it molested and raped by family members it's happened so often it fucked my mind up real good

All this was locked away deep within me
Didn't find out till my nineteenth birthday
Self hatred & doubt is the worst kind I've gone through
Was never good at art and drawing in general my rapists voice always reminds me how I shouldn't try art I'm to terrible at it

Funny thing is that I'm good with picking what colors go together but don't know how or why
Last night I was doubting if my partner loves me
I was doubting if I had talent besides being a master at wasting others and my time
I was doubting if I could ever make my family proud

I was doubting if my friends like me or just merely tolerate me
I was doubting if people cared about me
I was doubting that I'm worth remembering
I was doubting if I could ever get over what you sick fucks did to me
I was doubting if these words would even be read let alone popular
I was doubting that my dream of helping people in some way could be achieved

words from a broken soulStories to obsess over. Discover now