When I lost those who meant the world to me
I felt dead I found slight solace through YouTubers
Even if it was brief it was nice to laugh for a time
Instead of being numb to the world around me
School I didn't put much effort in seeing how I was only eleven
I put the bare minimum of effort
Always making sure that the mask was good enough to fool others
It's cracking and crumbling quick fix it
You don't want the others to see you vulnerable
Put on the bravado mask gotta be brave
Even if the world around you is scary and cruel
One day you'll find someone who makes you take the mask off
Believe it it happened for me when I was a junior
Had a rough break up put the mask back on (FUCK)
Force of habit
Though it was temporary I could tell my
Friend that helped me remove it was worried for me
I don't blame them after the break senior year started I fucked up real good went back to an ex not thinking about how the break up made me and them feel I just wanted to be loved again
All the while I was thinking about ending my suffering of constantly feeling dead inside
It was so bad I was hospitalized because I was staring at the knives in the kitchen thinking one quick and hard slash against my throat
My life will be snuffed out like a flame that never lit the pit
I was prescribed a med that I don't know what it does now
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective-depressive major disorder
Learned a year later it's something much more complicated yet I still feel dead even now
I feel dead and numb
Unless I'm around friends
Yet alone I can't shake the feelings of dread that makes me feel dead
YOU ARE READING
words from a broken soul
Poesíajust a collection of free verse/rondel poems(short stories to lengthy ones I guess) I've written over the course of ten months so far some won't be uploaded as I know they would get flagged as to dark of topics so yeah enjoy or don't. Feed back is h...
