words from a broken soul

Lose

We all lose something or someone
I've lost those who meant the world to me
I was pretty young the first time I was
In denial I knew what dead ment yet I
Was young enough to think it was a joke
When I saw their body I realized it wasn't
Broke down because one of the few things
That brought me joy in the hell I was living
In was lowered into the ground nothing to
Actually remember them by but the memories
And those are like looking through ash
We all lose something or someone

The second one I wasn't much older but
But I was free from living in hell yet it
Came with a heavy cost my sanity I may
Seem sane to most but get to know me
The me who isn't wearing the mask on
My face to hide everything so no one
Worries about me because the void
The words it reminds me I'm no one
But when the second one died I put
On this damn mask became cold and numb
Had to eventually the hell I lived it left
Me altered and broken in the worst ways
We all lose something or someone

What I was lost was my innocence yet
I pressed on in the hell to survive not
To live life but to live to see those sick fucks
In the ground or ashes doesn't matter
I've lived this life of a ghost who's past
Who's demons and Infliction and scars
Are living in what little shadow of myself
I'm just a ghost more akin to a corpse in life
Sure I have a pulse but when will it faded
We all lose something or someone

The joyful lad I was he chose suicide
Fell down a well haven't seen the well
But I can never really blame the lad for
I too am plagued by those thoughts just
End it the void whispers in an ever changing voice
Yet I keep meandering in life out of spite
The lad couldn't handle hell I stepped
Took their place learned everything I could
Wish I had better examples to learn from
Yet I think I've managed well enough not
Good but we're all flawed in some ways
Me it's anything to do with socializing
We all lose something or someone

Yet I force myself to live on in spite
And the sorrow of having seen a part
Of me kill themselves yet I can't blame them
Suicide, anxiety, depression, and flashbacks
All of these are things I've battled with
At such a young age the hell you escape
From well it likes leaving things imprinted
To your very soul a constant reminder of
What Nightmares people can truly be
Yet I've always faced my battles alone
Fearful and unsure of how to explain them
I was a fucking child who lived in hell to the
Point I just became numb to it so I'd live
We all lose something or someone

Yet no battle is won alone not without
Those you can rely on friends or family
Sure you could win the battles you face alone
But when you have an army supporting you
To fight back against the demons who
Lurk in the shadows waiting patiently to
Break you down things feel a little better
Not by much to me at least but it reminds
Who exactly I would cause heartache if
I did throw in the towel lose to my demons
Of the void that's wants me to become
Nothing more than a true corpse no
I've seen what it like to watch a part
Of myself die I may not have a proper will
But I'll be damned to let the void tell me
How I'm to live my life in this cruel world
We all lose something or someone