words from a broken soul

Demons

They'll always haunt you
Demons can be an addiction for one
And the past for another one
But they are different for everyone
Even how some might handle them
The demon that haunts me is the past
But I'm probably not far from addiction
Alcohol it makes me forget how much
I truly hate myself while the past reminds
Me just why I hate myself damn void
They'll always haunt you

The past is best forgotten no
But sometimes you just can't forget
The void reminds me everything I was
Told growing up in hell that altered me
My eyes show how much pain I suffered
This mask I wear on my face it's fooling
Me never knew it was possible but it
Has me thinking I'm fine that the
Thoughts of suicide are just fine
Pretend they're not there problem solved
They'll always haunt you

The dead man walking pretending that
They've not been living on borrowed time
Always wondering when I'll do it snuff out
The dying flame in my soul wondering do
I even have a soul with how broken I am
There's nothing but smoke and ash in me
The memories I have are behind a thick
Viscous fog of ash wondering what other
Horrors will break through the ashen fog
They'll always haunt you

Thing is you'd think I'd appreciate my life
What's there to appreciate when you lived
Through a hell house and became numb
To it even more so when I kill my emotions
So I can survive and not have a breakdown
The coldness I've become used to it
It's better than having a breakdown
Be reminded by the void that everyone
Will eventually grow tired of me because
I'm a nobody just a mistake who's dead
They'll always haunt you

This mask on my face hides the broken
Parts that live in my head because hell
Fucking altered me broke down my sanity
I value my friends and family but do they
Value me when you look into my eyes
Can you see the cacophony of voices
That are all so different yet a part of me
Because I know I'm drowning in the past
The pain I endured it truly broke me
More than I'm willing to admit more
That I can't really recall can only come
Up theories of what else happened in my life
They'll always haunt you

When all I've ever craved was to be loved
Who can love someone like me who's
Haunted by their demons of the past
That lurk in the shadows just waiting
For the perfect time to break me again
Force me down the lane in my memory
That I wish I could forget but can't
Who could love someone who rather be
Cold then feel emotions because their
A weakness and overwhelming fuck man
They'll always haunt you

I've just wanted be normal now I'm broken
Normal home life what's that like is there
Even such a thing as a normal home life
There's always going to be arguments
But hopefully the don't rupture your eardrums
The silence that come from that it's
Just so deafening it get annoying not
Knowing what is being said not being
Able to communicate like you did before
They'll always haunt you