words from a broken soul

Cute

We all find something cute
But I find my find my friends to be cute
Guess that's the life of a demiromantic
But my friends are the cutest people I know
Then there's me I'm just there like always
The ghost in the room whose content
On listening to music few people know
We all find something cute

But there's this one friend who's really cute
And then there's me someone who's haunted
By a past I can't run from nor forget
I'm scared because I fuck up everything
Especially on a romance level
Well a lack of basic communication skills
That'll make relationships in general hard
We all find something cute

Plus I don't really think they'd want
To date me I'm a broken person
Always remember what was drilled into me
I've accepted those damn words
Worthless, unlovable, mistake, and more
As if they came from the lord of death
Those fucking words they'll always be
A part of me a part of the past
Which I so desperately run from
We all find something cute

But me I'm not optimistic in my romance skills
I may be a hopeless romantic who
Still writes love letters or
Types them on a typewriter when possible
But I'm not good when an argument breaks out
I've always run from them
The reason to avoid being like those sick fucks
That and I'm terrified of conflicts
I don't have a great track record of those
We all find something cute

Conflicts have led me to be broken
On ways I wasn't before
They happened when I was confident
Then that confidence got shattered
Like glass when a bullet goes through it
To this day I'm still struggling to have
Any sort of self esteem but it's not there
We all find something cute

It's always a such a drastic change
Going from being confident in one's self
To wishing they were dead so they'd be
Spared of the haunting image of being
A broken person who just doesn't
Care anymore about themselves
We all find something cute