words from a broken soul

Move on

Move on its such a simple saying
I have so much I need Move on from
My childhood trauma
My ex who made me so happy that
I'm terrified that no one will ever make that happy
The lose of my father figures
Move on its such a simple saying

The lose of a child I never got to meet
The fact that I was never there for their mom
When she needed me the most
The hate the pity I hold for myself
But can't help but hate myself
My ex was forced to go through an abortion
I should've been there with her but I couldn't
I wouldn't work up the courage to be with her
Move on its such a simple saying

I'm not deserving of love
I'm just some fuck up of a ghost
I deserve hate
I don't deserve forgiveness
Move on its such a simple saying

The saying everyone heard at one point
Maybe for heart break
Maybe for loss
Maybe for grief
Maybe for sadness
Maybe for more
Move on its such a simple saying

I don't want to move on from my ex
Toxic I know but
The thing is for me to move on
Slightly from a previous one
It took them cutting me out their life
It's a pain I don't think I can handle again
Move on its such a simple saying

Who am I going to watch anime with
Whose willing to listen to me rant about video games
Who would love a broken soul
Who would give a damn if I killed myself
Move on its such a simple saying

People say it so carefree
Like it's obvious
It is but it's so hard to move one for me
I still haven't moved on from a death 13 years ago
I've just buried the pain away
Move on its such a simple saying

I still haven't moved on fully from my first ex
And that was back in middle school
Now whenever I see them I just lock myself away
Scream along to archangel
To forget the pit in my stomach
Move on its such a simple saying

But it's never so simple to just move on
If it was I wouldn't be up at 2 am writing this
As tears roll down my face
But life is some sick twisted game like that
Move on its such a simple saying

I really want to move on but I'm haunted
With insecurities and psychosis
No one wants to love a broken soul
No one wants to be friends with a broken soul
Move on its such a simple saying

No one besides other broken souls understand
Souls that have been broken to the
Point where nothing brings happiness
Everything is just a distraction from the
Pain the world forced on us
Move on its such a simple saying

Sometimes I can't help but remember
What I can't do for the child I lost
I was going to be the dad I never had
But now I just want the pain to end
Move on its such a simple saying

Sean I'm sorry that we never got to meet
I'm sorry for how shitty I was to your mom
I just hope you know we both would've loved
You with everything we had
Move on its such a simple saying

Now I'm just Ghosting through life
Haunted by my past
Haunted by my mistakes
Haunted by my own thoughts
Haunted by my insecurities
Move on its such a simple saying

I'm constantly wondering what purpose
Do I serve I'm not the smartest friend
Far from it I was mediocre
I'm not very handy
I'm just some broken soul that writes
Poetry to cope with their overwhelming
Emotions they haunt me taunt me flaunt me
Move on its such a simple saying