words from a broken soul

Trapped

We've all felt trapped
Even more so if you're survivor
Of childhood abuse you don't have much choice
You can either alert the police through a teacher
Or you can go back to the abusive house
We've all felt trapped

But if you do tell a teacher Chances are
You might end up in the foster care system
Which not the best place but not the worst
Ultimately it's like going all in with an ace high
And hoping for the other three aces
Those are the chances of not
Suffering more abuse while in or out the system
It's possible but not likely and
Let's be honest no one likes those odds
We've all felt trapped

Sometimes we get trapped into unhealthy
Relationships the person you're dating
Might threaten to snuff their life out
Like a flame that never got to light the pit
If you leave or in my case they self harmed
And sent me pictures of the aftermath
Nothing against them they
Had a worse home life then me but
You shouldn't feel like a parent to someone
You're dating the fucking sleep was shit
Always was worried that they'd snuff their life out
We've all felt trapped

I was a fool and kept going back to them
Just to feel like I was loved and special
Things I didn't feel growing up
All I felt during my youth was hatred, pain,
Suffering, dead, silence, and escape
Never once did I truly feel loved by more
Then two people in my life shout out to them
I was destroyed when they died
They taught me some valuable lessons
But it feels like I'm living in their shadows
We've all been trapped

I'm trapped into seeing myself in the light
That the void gives which is darkness
Reminded what I truly am
A worthless mistake better of dead
Another shadow that haunts me
From my past that isn't ash
Like almost everything else is
The pain I was forced to endure changed me
I wonder if I was a joyful child deep down
I know I was but a part me doubts it
Because I've become numb to hell
Just so I could survive it but
It broke me left me beaten and forgotten
We've all been trapped

I'm just a ghost who's constantly
Going through a war with parts of myself
Just to be a normal person not hiding behind
A mask that's always breaking needing repairs
But I'm weak don't want people to see the true me
The strength I wish I had isn't there
We've all felt trapped