words from a broken soul

Concepts

I have concepts yet unable to draw them
They just sit in my fractured mind building
Up dust because drawing isn't in my skills
I'm haunted with these concepts but when
I get bold enough to pick up the tools half
Way through I just look at the paper then
The void filled abyss takes over reminding
Me why I shouldn't even think of drawing
Everything I "draw" looks terrible not even
Able to pass of as abstract art just fucking
Trash like I always produce when "drawing"
I have concepts yet unable to draw them

The only art I'm capable of producing are
These poems I write to cope with things
That I had beaten out of me or branded
To my soul by sick and twisted fucks
But Ah what can I do music won't silence
The abysmal void when I draw so fuck it
I'll just stick to my words they come to me
Better than an image and I'm able to make
Them work but with drawing it's just a vision
That I'm not able to make real just hideous
Art that I rather burn then look at because
They abysmal void is right drawing just isn't
In my skills never was doubt it ever will be
I have concepts yet unable to draw them

Failed art in high school because of the void
And my lack of drawing skills so I read
Just read the entire semester drew once
And the thing drew wasn't even what I really
Wanted to draw but it was the only thing
That I had the skills to draw it was a broken mirror
The original idea was breaking mask
That had signs of haphazardly being fixed
Couldn't figure a way to draw that so went
With the next closest thing for the self portrait
Broken mirror thanks imposter syndrome
Yet I rung true to me because broken is all
I am wear a mask to come of as sane if I'm
I have concepts yet unable to draw them

Around the right people the mask is gone
Back to the insanity that been filling my head
Since I was just a lad all when the trauma Started don't know how long I lasted sane
I was a fucking child be abused every way
Eventually my mind it shattered like a broken mirror
That's why it was the backup for the self portrait
The pain hidden in the darkness yet lurking
In the shadows that penetrate through it
Confused as to how there are shadows
When light is lacking from around me
Fear of the unknowns within my mind
Nightmares from flashback when will
They strike I'm prepared but doesn't mean
I'm ready to be forced by the abyss filled void
To relive all the things I had become numb
Towards just so I could survive but drawing
I'm never gonna be able to block out the void
So these words are my artistic solace from
The lies I've accepted as the truth from my
Past that I wish wasn't a thing I lived through
I have concepts yet unable to draw them