Hell and abuse go hand in hand
They both lead you to become altered
I'm speaking from my experience
I like to think I was a joyful child
Deep down I know I was but the the abuse
Had started don't know when but it did
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
The options were endure and survive
Or let the thoughts of ending it win
I chose to endure and survive but it
Came with a heavy cost my sanity
I may come off a sane to most
But get to know me and it's a different
Picture you'll see beyond the mask
The abuse makes it Impossible to
Remember most my childhood
All those memories are nothing but smoke and ash
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
The memories I do have I'm always
Terrified of what will trigger the ptsd
That has a tight grip on my brain
I'm always wondering will more horrors
Get released from the ashen haze
What else did I have to endure besides
What I remember now the answers
They always elude me like my will to live
The void reminds I'm a worthless mistake
This is something I've accepted as the truth
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
The hell I went through altered me
Gave me ptsd Insomnia anxiety and parts
More so than a normal person
I hide my pain behind a mask to
Make others comfortable yet I hate myself
None the other parts do I hate just myself
Because I failed to endure as much abuse
As possible yet I know there's only so
Much the brain can handle before
Drastic measures are taken and those
Are to alter the memories and create parts
That can handle the things necessary to live
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
Thing is I don't know if I'm truly alive
I have a pulse yes but I don't find
Much joy in the world hell my friends are
Really the only thing that can break
Through my cold and numb personality
The hell I went through taught me to
Kill my emotions before they become
A weakness and overwhelming me
So I'm still killing my emotions
Being numb and cold is the better option
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
I'm still doubtful if anyone who isn't family
Can love me for who I truly am parts
And fractured person I may be there's
Some good in my heart I just don't know
How to utilize its I can't do it for myself
All these years of surviving hell was
Never about myself but for those
Who are around me and how much
Pain I would cause if I snuffed my life
Out like a flame never getting it's chance
To light the pit and spread warmth
Hell and abuse go hand in hand
YOU ARE READING
words from a broken soul
Şiirjust a collection of free verse/rondel poems(short stories to lengthy ones I guess) I've written over the course of ten months so far some won't be uploaded as I know they would get flagged as to dark of topics so yeah enjoy or don't. Feed back is h...
