Home is what we all search for it
It doesn't have to me family
It can be friends that you
Find a home in or your more
Comfortable with friends than family
But the question is what truly is home
I don't rightfully know hopefully it's not
Chaos and hell been through enough of both
Home is what we all search for it
I'm always wondering will there
Ever be someone who will make
Me feel at home on a romantic level
I thought I did find that special someone
Twice I thought this yet it wasn't true
But I fucked it up with one and the other
I just don't know who they are any more
Home is what we all search for it
I've always thought I would feel loved
But sometimes I felt like I was hated
Always wondering why they'd put up
With me I'm not good at anything
Even these words I write I find no
Point to them besides ramblings
Yet I know there's a point to each
I think I found my home that's just
These words I write to prove to others
That there is someone who know
The pain they went through
Home we all search for it
Home should be your safe place
Growing up my home life it was hell
There was nothing but pain and misery
It was so bad it altered me gave me
The boon of insanity yet sanity it's
A fine line if you look hard enough
Past the mask and you'll see it
The different parts that are in my head
All doing different things to mange us
Home we all search for it
Thing is when you find it what then
I'm always thinking what then just
What then I don't want to have kids
I'm deathly fearful that I'll turn out
Like my abuser and repeat what happened
There's always voices in my head
One from my abuser the rest because
My brain fractured and shattered
Created other parts to increase
The odds of survival in my favor
Home we all search for it
Will anyone be able to accept
Me and all the parts that just want
Me to be happy yet I can't not
When I failed the one I was to protect
There's only so much I could handle
Yet if I could take everything then
I'd be happy because the others
Wouldn't be terrified of their ptsd
Getting triggered even now
We're all waiting for when one
Of us gets dragged back into the void
Forced to relive those damn horrors
From the past that haunts us
But we have ways to defend ourselves
From those damn horrors
Will never be ready for it but we'll
Sure as hell fight back against them
Home we all search for it
YOU ARE READING
words from a broken soul
Poetryjust a collection of free verse/rondel poems(short stories to lengthy ones I guess) I've written over the course of ten months so far some won't be uploaded as I know they would get flagged as to dark of topics so yeah enjoy or don't. Feed back is h...
