Sanders Sides Onshots Book 2 {COMPLETED}

On My Own (Royality)

Unedited (Please point out any errors. It's taken me about an hour to write this, and I'm not in the mood to go back and proof read, so please help and proof read for me? Love you all! I'm sorry.)

VERY ANGSTY. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

T.W. Cutting, mentions of blood, skipping meals, vomiting, overdose, death, and hopelessness. (Viewer discretion advised.)

Italics - song lyrics.
Underlined italics - memories.
Regular - now.

There's gotta be another way out
I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt

He sighed and looked around, he was stuck in his own mind, with no means of escape. All the words he heard uttered when they though he wasn't listening, all the thoughts he had, and the voices he heard, and what everyone said about him. "Egotistical." "Self obsessed" "narcissist" "annoyingly" "mean." Mean... He hated himself, he had no worth. He tried and tried, but he couldn't figure out any way out.

I've tried forever getting out on my own
But every time I do this my way

He had no way out, no means of escape, no one to talk to. No one to listen to him. So he used his own means of coping, he pulled out a razor, and slid it down his wrist, one cut for every time he let a tear slip around the others, when he let them in on what was possibly bothering him. He couldn't help it, he needed help, yet he couldn't ask for it.

I get caught in the lies of the enemy
I lay my troubles down
I'm ready for you now

He sighed, and thought back to the time he spoke to Patton.

He walked to the fatherly figments room, and knocked. He hoped Patton was in there and not in the kitchen. Usually when he was in the kitchen, Virgil or Logan were there helping him cook whatever meal was being cooked, which meant he would be unable to talk to Patton, and he needed the comfort. The door opened, and revealed the fatherly figure, he asked what was wrong, and the one sentence wanted to make him break. "I-I... Can I come in?" Patton nodded and opened the door wider, letting the slightly upset male inside.

"Roman?" Patton asked. Roman turned to him, admittedly, Roman would have liked to admit his feelings for the parental unit, yet he knew he wouldn't be able to. So he settled for "I'm not feeling good."

"In What way?" Patton's eyes widened, and his fatherly instincts kicked in, ready to help in any way possible.

"I feel... I feel..." how did he feel? Useless. Worthless. Alone. Pathetic. Unwanted. Would he tell Patton that? Probably not. "I just feel sad... And I hurt... My heart hurts..." his eyes filled with tears as he watched the moral aspect move over to him, and pull him into a hug. "Why does it hurt?"

"I hear and see what everyone says about me. They don't... they don't..." he trailed off, attempting to do calm himself, and be able to finish his sentence. "They don't l-like me..." he looked down, and laced his fingers together, wringing them through each other. He couldn't bring himself to look at the facet next to him, he knew he'd be unhappy. Say that Virgil had worse problems. "What do they say?" His words were soft, so soft that Roman almost didn't hear him.

"They say I'm egotistical, and selfish, and mean and a narcissist." Patton held the fanciful facet closer, hoping to make him feel a little bit better.

"I thought those things didn't bother you."

"They do. They hurt. A lot." He couldn't hold back the tears, and they fell, they kept falling, even though he didn't want them to. He was held tighter, and a kiss was pressed to his temple, he knew it was purely platonic, yet his heart fluttered anyway. "The worst part is..." he whispered, unable to get his voice to grow any louder, "the person I like a lot partakes in these name callings, even though he's usually the one to stop them." Patton's breathing hitched, and Roman felt it. He excused himself, and walked to his room, hoping to avoid anyone else. He'd opened up to Patton, and risked everything. He lay on his bed, and sobbed, sobbed until he couldn't stay awake any longer.