Sanders Sides Onshots Book 2 {COMPLETED}

Je suis désolé Au (LAMP x Thomas)

Unedited

T.W. Self harm, Self hate, Death, Anxiety, Depression.

Virgil sighed and watched his friends through his hair. He wasn't sure why he felt down, but after spending half an hour with his happy friends, it got to be too much.

With 10 minutes left of lunch, he stood up, wordlessly, and made his way to the bathrooms. He knew someone would follow him, but he didn't care. He just needed to get away.

He stood by the sinks, no one used the bathrooms, and he didn't blame them, the entire school was disgusting, and the only time the toilets were used was when someone came in to skip class, or to get high. Luckily, they didn't do it 10 minutes before the bell rang.

He stood with his palms on the counter, and his head down, staring at the space in between his hands. He ignored the sound of the door opening, and sighed shakily.

"Are you okay?"

"Why would you care?" Virgil snapped, not caring that it was his friend, he didn't think they'd miss him if he left. He knew they wouldn't.

"Because you're my friend, and I thought I was yours."

"Why? Why do you care?"

"Virgil..."

"That doesn't answer my question." He turned around, facing his friend, an unreadable emotion in his eyes.

Roman took a step closer to him, and reached a hand out, causing Virgil to take a step back. He knew it was mean, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to protect himself.

Roman held his wrist, to stop him moving further away, knowing that if he didn't use some form of physical contact, Virgil would leave completely, and find a way around him.

Virgil winced, and hoped that Roman hadn't noticed. He had.

"Virgil?"

"Why do you care?" He spoke forcefully, knowing the answer, but he wouldn't open up about what he did to himself, or why.

"Virgil please, don't do this. You know why I care. Please..."

"No. You all need to stop." Virgil referred to their friend group.

"Stop what?"

"Stop being so ignorant!" Virgil snapped, he couldn't take it. He suffered, day in, day out, and they didn't notice. They didn't notice his pain, his anguish. They cared about when he was happy, but when he was alone and hurting, they didn't notice. they didn't care. "You don't care. Not now. You only care when I'm happy. You only followed me to say 'I can make him happy.' None of you care enough to see me when I hurt, or when I suffer. You only care when I'm actually there. I'm never there. I'm never talkative, I never want to participate in conversations, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because you're all so happy, and it doesn't matter if I'm not, because you don't notice."

"What do you mean, we don't notice? Virgil, of course we notice!"

"They why don't you say anything!"

"Because we thought you wouldn't want us to. We thought you would come to us when you wanted to talk. So we like it when you do talk to us, because it shows we are doing something right. We care, and we notice, and I hate that you think that we don't."

"Maybe you should make more of an effort to see if I'm okay, because if you say you notice, then you should do more. Because it feels like you don't. All I wanted was friends who cared enough to make sure I was okay, but you don't do it, and it's so frustrating. I love you guys, but you make me feel so excluded!"