Sanders Sides Onshots Book 2 {COMPLETED}

I'm Not Sorry Pt 3 (Prinxiety)

Unedited

T.W. Negative thoughts, self harm, death.

To the untrained eye, Virgil was fine. To all three of the sides, he was fine, and none would have ever thought that he was contemplating suicide. It wasn't until it happened that they realised how broken he was, and how much his relationship with Roman had helped him.

-

Stupid, pathetic useless, worthless.

"Virgil?" Roman knocked on the darker aspects door, hoping to convince him to watch the movie with them, he hadn't been out of his room for a week, and he wouldn't talk to anyone, and they were all getting worried. "What?" Came the slightly broken response from inside.

"May I come in?" He heard the click of a lock, and the door swung open, revealing a small, broken trait. "Virgil?"

"I'm sorry..." He broke down, and flung himself at the trait stood slightly outside his room. He sobbed into the white shirt, and couldn't stop the flow of tears.

"What are you sorry for?" Roman asked, his tone quiet and gentle. Virgil looked up at him, either Roman really didn't know why he was apologising, or he was being nice.

"I-I... I like you... A-and you hate me... Y-you could n-never love me, a-and I-I messed up..."

"Virgil, what happened?"

"Y-you told me... y-you h-hate me..."

"I could never hate you."

"B-but you s-said."

"Whatever you were told was a lie, I do not, nor could I ever, hate you."

"P-Promise?"

"I promise. Will you come and watch a movie with us? We miss you?"

"W-why?"

"We care for you."

"o-okay..."

-

"Why do you even try?" Virgil turned to the fanciful facet sat on the dark bed. "Why do you think you can stop me?"

"Because I love you Virgil! I want to be the reason you smile everyday, and I want to be the reason why you get up, and the reason you live to see another day. I want to be there."

"Y-you said..."

"I know what I said, and I mean it. I do love you." Roman stood up and pulled the anxious aspect closer to him, his breath fanning over the smaller trait's lips. "I love you too," came the whispered response, and their lips met in a fiery blaze of passion.

-

"It's bad again, please help me... It's so hard to not give into the voices..."

"You are strong Virgil, I know you can do it. Do you need me to be there?"

"Yes... please..."

Virgil sat curled up on the floor, tears streaming down his face, and it hurt him to hang up the phone, even though he knew Roman would be along any second. The voices seemed to amplify, and get worse as soon as Roman's voice wasn't in his ear. "Stop it please..." He muttered, mostly to himself. It was a daily occurrence, he'd have the voices grow louder in his head, and he'd end up calling Roman, who would go to him, and help.

"I'm here, you're okay." The familiar voice murmured in his ear.

After half an hour of Roman calming Virgil down, the latter was finally able to talk. "Thank you..."

"I told you, you don't need to thank me, it's what I'm here for."

"What are we?"

"What do you want us to be?"

"I want you to be my boyfriend. Please..."

"Then that I'll be." Roman smiled, and held his boyfriend close, the two soon fell asleep on Virgil's bed.

-

"I don't want this, please stop! It's not true! He loves me! He wants me." Virgil screamed to the shadow in front of him, the embodiment of his negative thoughts. He clutched his head, and sank to the floor, he couldn't take it, Roman loved him, he knew it, he knew it. It wasn't a lie, he wasn't lying to himself. Roman was his, and Roman cared. "Shut up!"

He was taken into the embrace of his boyfriend, and held close, being allowed to cry into the white shirt, and kept crying until the sobs quietened and he was no longer shaking. "Roman?"

"I'm here."

"Make it stop."

Roman's eyes filled with tears, he couldn't, he could only be a temporary relief.

"I can't, but I can help."

-

"I thought I loved you."

"You thought? Why don't I make it easier and walk away? Maybe then, you'll be happy."

"Whilst you're at it, why don't you go and kill yourself?"

""You think I don't want that? You think I don't wish I could take it all back, remove myself and never let myself become accepted? You think I wanted this? Newsflash, I didn't, and I don't want to be here. So why don't you just let me go? Why do you keep trying? Roman, just stop, I don't want this, I don't want you. So please just leave me alone!"

Virgil ran to his room, the voices louder. reiterating Roman's words. "Go and kill yourself."

His tears clouded his vision and he pulled out his razor, cutting his wrists, deep, and watching in awe as the blood flowed out.

He wrote a small note and stuck it to the wall by his door frame. "I'm sorry I wasn't enough."

He stumbled to his bed and passed out.

-

"I broke him, I was a bad boyfriend, and I couldn't save him, I'm the Prince for crying out loud. He was enough, more than enough, and I lost him, I told him to go and die, and I lost the best thing that ever happened to me." Roman cried into the moral facets shoulder.

Roman blamed himself, and he knew he was to blame, even if the others didn't say it, he was, but he didn't let it drag him down, he just promised to himself that it would never happen again.

He, Logan and Patton worked together to look after Thomas, and to ensure nothing like it happened again.

944 words

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