Sanders Sides Onshots Book 2 {COMPLETED}

Control (Analogical)

Unedited (please poimnt out errors, I'm too lazy to go back through it tonight.)

T.W. This entire thing is basically just Anxiety attacks, with a little fluff at the end.

It had been building up all day, Virgil knew that much. He'd woken up with chest pains, and when that happened, he had an attack by the end of the day. He'd taken a deep breath, and pushed himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. As soon as he stood up, he had to sit straight back down. He clutched his head, and had to block out any light, just to remove the dizziness. The nausea came next, as soon as Patton's food filled his nostrils, he gagged, and ran to his room. He hadn't realised that his doing so had hurt Patton's feelings. 

A few hours after breakfast, the nausea died down, and he was able to regain some of the control, but then Roman decided to step in.

"You had enough of being a pain to Thomas, so you decided to hurt Patton?"

Virgil sighed shakily, and opened his mouth to defend himself, but was cut off. "You're so pathetic, why can't you control yourself?" Roman shook his head, and stormed out, frustrated with Virgil. 

In that moment, Virgil realised how little control he had over everything. Over his attacks, over his disorder, and how little he actually helped. His hands began to shake, and he collapsed to the floor. A violent shiver took over him, and he sighed as the inevitable cold flash came, followed quickly with an intense heat. His heart began to race, and he couldn't think clearly. He was terrified that Roman would come back and shout at him more, he was terrified about how Thomas would react, and he was terrified to lose Patton and Logan, they had always been there for him, but they'd soon get sick of him, and he was beyond scared. He clenched and unclenched his hands, the all too familiar feeling of pins and needles spreading in his fingers. As the fear set in, his breathing became shorter, and he found himself fearing more. His hands went up to grip his hair, trying to elicit pain, and ground himself. When nothing worked, he let out a strangled groan, and felt himself shake more. How he wished for help. He knew he'd lost all control with his anxiety, and the realization scared him even more, dragging him even further down. 

-

Logan sighed and watched Patton and Roman trying to calm their host down. They wouldn't listen to him, even though he knew better. He sunk down into the Mind, and made his way to Virgil's room. He knocked, and heard no response. He tired again, and again, heard nothing. He walked into the dark room, and his eyes immediately landed on the small figure on the floor. He walked over, making enough noise to alert Virgil of him being there. "Virgil, can I touch you?" 

Virgil gave no indication of hearing him, and it worried Logan. Virgil was sat staring at the wall opposite him, tears streaming down his face, tracking his eyeliner down his cheeks. His hands were trembling, tugging at his hair. He was completely vacant.

Logan sat next to him, feeding him small amounts of information, mostly to calm him down.

"In for four, hold for seven out for eight."

After roughly an hour, Virgil was breathing properly, and he turned to see Logan sat next to him. The sudden knowledge of someone sat next to him startled him, he hadn't realised anyone cared enough to help him.

"I l-lost control, I'm s-sorry." he spoke, his voice noticeably broke, yet Logan said nothing about it. 

"Do not apologise, you cannot always control your anxiety. Just keep fighting."

Virgil sighed shakily, and, with Logan's help, got to his bed, laying down to sleep. 

"Thank you." He mumbled, quickly falling asleep."