Sanders Sides Onshots Book 2 {COMPLETED}

Nothing Changed Au Pt2 (LAMP) {fluff}

I wasn't originally going to make a part two, but someone on the LAMP Amino commented on part one and asked for more. I wasn't sure what they meant by 'more' but I made a part two anyway.

T.W. Dysphoria, Anxiety Attack, Self-Hate (Trans!Roman, so pretty much all of the triggers are linked to that.)

Roman sighed and narrowed his eyes at his reflection. Since coming out to his boyfriends, things seemed easier, and he felt much more at home in himself, but he had days where he felt completely disconnected from himself, and he wanted nothing more than to tear off his own skin and scream about how he hated who he really was. He was having one of those days.

Normally he'd go to Patton, since Patton seemed to be the one who could help him best with his dysphoria, but he'd mentioned something about how busy he'd be, and something to do with Logan, too. He didn't want to bother Virgil. Not because he was Virgil, but because Virgil was too good at this kind of stuff, and he didn't want to bother him. But maybe, Virgil was his best option. Virgil know how to distract people from anxiety, since he had to do it regularly.

After a few minutes of debating with himself, he picked up his phone and dialled Virgil's number, mentally berating himself for not texting him first. He knew how Virgil got when people called without texting first, and he hoped that he didn't cause Virgi any distress due to his carelessness.

"Dude, what, it's too early." Virgil's voice filtered through the phone, laced with sleep, and he was clearly not fully awake. That reassured Roman, but also made him feel rather guilty, since Virgil wasn't awake, and it was kind of taking advantage of it.

"Sorry, Virge, I just need someone right now, and you're the only one who isn't busy, or if you are, you never said anything, and I'm sorry I woke you." Roman's words came out rushed, and he didn't realise how much more panicked he sounded.

"Dude, chill, are you okay?" Roman noted how much more awake Virgil sounded, and he felt guilty. He hadn't meant to wake him up, and now he'd made Virgil worry, which wasn't fair. He was a bad boyfriend.

"No. I'm not. Can you come over? Can I come over?" Roman bit his thumb nail, and glanced back at his mirror.

"Which would be better for you?"

"Can I come to you?" Roman sighed, and tried to forced his attention away from the mirror. "I need to get away from the mirror, and it's taunting me. I feel so..."

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yeah..." Roman sighed, and tugged his plaid shirt tighter around him, trying to cover up the slight lumps showing through his t-shirt that the binder couldn't quite hide anymore, due to overuse.

"Romeo?"

"Hm?"

"Are you sure you want to come here? Are you focused enough on everything around you to be safe?"

"No. Come save me." He managed out, and felt his throat close up. "Please."

Virgil said something about how he was on his way, and would be there soon. But soon wasn't soon enough, and Roman felt himself getting worse by the second, and he hated being alone on these kinds of days.

He managed to get to the bottom of the stairs before his knees gave out beneath him, and he curled into a ball, trying to regulate his breathing, and find a way to calm down.

It wasn't until he felt a hand on his back and heard reassuring words that he calmed down, and as he looked up, Virgil gazed fondly back at him, but behind the fondness, lay concern for his boyfriend.

Roman had been having bad days more and more often, resulting in Patton being available less and less. The two would often stay home almost all the time, even if they had school, if Roman was feeling bad, they would stay home, and try to keep Roman calmer.