Inferno Part 2

~38~ Field Trip

Taylor's POV

We spent the next several hours just talking about things we've never talked about before. I spent a good hour telling her exactly how many woman I have been with. She never asked before and I never told. However, since she was so vulnerable with me I thought I owed it to her. She sat and listened to my past, squeezing my hand every time a particular memory of a girl would come up and I'd be disgusted.

I told her how I lost my virginity. A girl named Demi. My buddies dared me to sleep with her, because word on the street was she was easy. The word was true, she was easy. I lost my virginity at 15, on a freaking dare. Then I went and told my buddies all about it.

I felt like such a rockstar.

That haunts me. I have no special moments. Nothing that I'm proud of. Just easy girls who let me get in their pants. Usually I only slept with them once. Only occasionally would I sleep with them twice. Never three times. Three times was bordering commitment, and that's something I never wanted.

Not until Ellie, course. By the time I'm done telling her about all of this, I'm feeling like scum. I seriously wonder how I never ended up with any lifelong STDs. I had a few, but I could always clear them up with antibiotics. What if I would have had one and passed a lifelong one on to Ellie? That thought makes me shutter. She was only with one other guy and then she gets a disease from me? I doubt I ever would have dated her if that would have been the case. She was too special. What a tragedy that would have been.

After I'm done talking about it, there's a silence. A peaceful silence as we both get lost in our own world for a bit. Suddenly, she talks.

"My mom's name is Eliza" she says quietly.

I look at her, shocked. She's never told me. I know, of course, but she has no idea I know. I nod. "Jake told me the day that Justin broke the mirror" I say, squeezing her hand. I'm done hiding things from her.

She just simply nods and wipes a tear that falls.

"She used to call the three of us Coração. She said that it meant heart. She said that the three of us, plus dad, made up all four chambers of her heart, and without us, she would die. That's what I always think about. If that's how she truly felt about us, she never would have left."

I hold her close and kiss her hair.

"Did she speak Portuguese?" I ask after a minute.

She nods. "She does, fluently. We didn't, though. We knew a few words, but she only spoke English around us. I used to joke with Alex about it. His family is from Sweden. His dad spoke fluent Swedish. I said that if I would have known Portuguese and he would have known Swedish, we would have been unstoppable."

I chuckle a little. I'm just so glad she's talking about her family.

She talks for over an hour about her mom. She and her mom were inseparable. So much, that it made Justin and Jake a little jealous. That's why she shut down so hard. She lost her absolute best friend.

"It was worse than if she would have just died. If she would have died it wouldn't have been so bad. You don't choose to die. You choose to leave. She chose to leave. It hurt" she says, starting to cry.

I bring her into me and hold her tight. I hate seeing her like this. I can't decide if I should press more out of her or not.

"I love you," I whisper in her ear.

She nods and starts kissing me. She sits on top of me, and I know what she's wanting. I turn and look at the time.

"I don't know if we have time, baby," I say, wanting her so badly.