Inferno Part 2

~147~ My Brain And Heart Are Arguing

Ellie's POV

We're laying in bed, watching TV; I'm starting to doze. Taylor wanted to watch some boring murder mystery documentary, and they always creep me out. Hopefully we won't be starring in an episode one day, with Katie as the murderer.

Taylor is in sweats and a sweatshirt. We have still not been intimate with each other since it happened. He hasn't even tried. He knows I'm not there yet.

As I'm dozing, he's gently tickling my back. I let him. I honestly don't want to let him, but I'm trying. This happened a long time ago, and I'm trying to keep that into perspective.

"What was her name?" I ask without opening my eyes.

"Who's name, Darlin'?"

"The little girl."

"Shyanne"

"Where is she now?"

He sighs. "I don't know, Ellie. The moment she turned 18, that was it. I fulfilled the obligation that I felt that I had. There was never any obligation, I knew that...I knew the whole thing wasn't my fault, but she was growing up without a mom. The whole reason I became a firefighter was because I didn't want that to happen to anyone else. Then I caused it to happen to someone? I was having trouble sleeping."

"It's weird that she never mentioned she had a daughter."

He's silent.

"What?" I ask, opening my eyes.

Taylor sighs and shakes his head. "She didn't see her much. Grandma had her most of the time. I wasn't her first obsession."

I sit up and glare at him. "Do you mean to tell me that the grandma was raising her from the beginning?!?"

He just looks at me.

"TAYLOR!!!"

"Ellie, I know."

I shake my head in disgust. "All that money and secrecy for nothing? If the grandma had her most of the time anyways, there was no reason for you to financially support her."

"I know," he says sadly.

I lay on my side, disgusted, and close my eyes again.

A minute later, I feel his chin on my shoulder. "I miss you, Ellie Jane."

"Yeah? Well you can continue missing me."

He sighs as he rolls over, as he continues watching his show.

The next morning I get ready for work, and he's getting ready for shift. I ignore him. I'm just so frustrated by all of it.

As he's about to leave, he pulls me into him and kisses me hard. "One of these days I'll earn your trust back. I'll keep fighting until I do."

I just nod, kissing him back. "Be safe."

"We will be," he says as he walks out the door.

Man I wish I could smack my brain around a little bit. It's been having an attitude lately. With Nolan, and with this. My brain and my heart are not speaking to each other right now, which is making my emotions quite confused. I wish they could just kiss and make up, so I could go back to normal.

My brain and heart are going to have to have a heart-to-heart...Er, a heart-to-brain.

We get into school, and Nolan waves goodbye.

"Nolan," I yell after him.

"Yeah?" He asks, turning around and walking back over to me.

"I meant what I said last night. No more lying."