Secret Admirer

Thoughts

Chapter 70:

Avni was going to the lawn to change her mind she was passing by the corridor and Neil was coming from opposite direction they stopped to see eachother their eyelock. Avni looks down and pass by him without saying anything Neil wanted to stop her but he don't know what to say he don't want to confess his love like that but in the heat of the moment he confessed that Neil thought and was hurt because of ignorance now he understand how it feels when someone ignore you especially the loved one.

Neil came in his room he sit on the bed and think.

Neil's pov:

Today I confessed my love to Avni I didn't want to confess my love in that way but when he saw her with Ali I couldn't handle that I know they are friends but my heart breaks when I see them together I can't see her with any other guy I can't tolerate any other man near her don't know how she saw me and Maya together in all these years if this thing is effecting me then how she bear that pain how much she had gone through how many times her heart was broken don't know how she handle herself when she got to know about Maya's pregnancy how she handled those emotions I am sure Maya had not left that chance of giving her pain how she handle that heart breaking news how can she love mine and Maya's children how when I can't see her with her childhood friend then how she saw our happy family why she is so good after happening that much still she forgave me and never wished bad for Maya how can a person be so selfless.

Neil stop.

Neil: now I confessed my love don't know what she is thinking what is going in her mind I just hope this time she will not back off no this time I will not let her to take step back this time I will not let our love to lose never.

Neil's point of view.

Neil was determined On the other side Avni was sitting in the garden and the cool breeze, nature was also not helping her to change her mind she was still thinking about Neil's confession she was shivering and hold her arms but she was not going inside she knew when she close her eyes that thing came in front of her eyes and will not let her to sleep but she forget that still she is thinking about the same thing she was thinking and some one keep the shawl at her shoulders avni frown and looks back it was Neil he smiled to see her she looks down.

Neil: what are you doing here?

Avni keep the hair strand behind her ear she didn't reply Neil came to her and sit besides her.

Avni: I was not sleepy so thought to spend sometime with nature.

Neil: by shivering?

Avni look at him and avoid eye contact she look away.

Neil: anyways.

Neil sighs.

Neil: Avni I think we should talk.

Avni look at him.

Neil: now you know about my feelings so now what avni I mean.

Avni looks down Neil look at her.

Neil: Avni we can't live like this we have to find out a way.

Avni: NK why you are you complicating the things just leave them as they are.

Neil: Avni is it living we both are fighting a new battle everyday sometimes with with ourself and sometimes with each other we have to find out a solution. See avni I love you not from now but since long and I want to start a new life with you a new beginning of everything with you I want to forget the past.

Avni: and di.

Neil get irritated.

Neil: Avni enough of it please stop your this di reiteration please enough of it now already you think about her a lot now come out from your di and think about yourself ourself.

Avni: fine just leave di then what about ansh and navya.

Neil: what about them they have you me our family what else they want.

Avni: do you think what will have when di regain conscious.

Neil: then what she will get what she deserve she will reap what she sow.

Avni: and what will be its impact on ansh and navya do you have idea what will people say to them.

Neil Shocked.

Avni: NK I lived that life I know that pain when I lost my father then my uncle and aunt ruled at me and my mother even when neela maa adopted me everytime people remind me that I am her adopted daughter though neela maa never made me feel that but people never left the chance to remind me that and same thing will happen to ansh and navya people will remind them that I am not their mother and what will they gone through when they see you and di separated what will you answer them when they ask you that why you and di not live together what will they feel when other ask them why her parents not live together what if di want their custody then do you have idea what will happen.

Neil Shocked.

Avni: and suppose you will win the case then what will happen sometime they live with you sometimes with di then what will they feel NK they will feel divided they will lose their innocence their childhood their smile their everything NK I had live that life and I don't want anyone to live that life where you lose everything no matter how badly you want to hold the things but it slip from your hand like a sand I daily wish and praye no one live that life which I had live.

Avni's eyes were teary.

Avni: I don't want anyone to go through that especially ansh and navya no.

Neil Shocked and avni got up and was going but stopped to hear Neil.

Neil; what if Maya will not come out from coma.

Avni shocked and turns Neil get up and turns to her.

Neil: then then what then what will happen?

Avni was looking at him.

Neil: if you think about so far then you also thought about it no.

Neil look at her she had no answer.

Neil: no you didn't think about it ok let me tell you then our contract marriage will end and it will effect ansha nd navya life badly because they will live without her mother people will ask them your mother died oh poor kids how will they live now Neil should get married to a girl who give them the love of mother I think something like that happened today no.

Avni recall kk's wedding incident where lady asked shweta about Neil's marriage Avni look at Neil.

Neil: Avni by thinking what will happen tomorrow we can't ruin our today you are thinking about future and what about the today, present Avni we don't know about Maya she will wake up or.

Neil stop.

Neil: Avni already we waisted a lot of  time not any more I want to start a new life with you and about ansh and navya they will be happy with you because I trust you I know you will give them a good life good upbringing Avni I love you if Maya will come out from the coma still I will not accept her in my life. 7 years I had live a life of lie now not any more now I want a normal life with you avni I love you and I can't give your place to anyone else I can't leave with Maya if we keep a side our love still I can't live with her because now I know the truth so how can I live with her, her presence daily remind me of her deeds her betrayal.

Neil was panting and shook his head.

Neil: so stop thinking about her and tell me do you love me?

Avni shocked she was about to say.

Neil: I want truth avni.

Avni looks down Neil came to her and keep her hand on his head Avni shocked.

Neil: now tell me you love me or not?

Avni tried to take her hand back but Neil hold her arm tightly avni look at him she was angry.

Neil: tell me avni

Avni: NK what is this childishness leave my hand.

Neil: Avni tell me.

They look at eachother their eye lock.