Loss

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Whilst I was recovering from my surgery at home, TJ was on Raw and 205 Live, proving why he is the Cruiserweight Champion. Of course I was missing being with my love at every given moment, but it was what it was.

"I miss you too baby, I love you. Now get some rest." TJ smiled as we facetimed during the evening. I loved seeing his face, even if it was through a phone as he was in the arena for Raw. He had that cute dorky smile of his beaming across his face, and his championship on his shoulder. "But babe!" I loved groaning at him but to be honest, I just wanted to see him kick ass on Raw.

Pharoh was asleep on TJ's side of the bed while I was watching Raw. I had been spending the night adding Instagram posts and snapchat stories, but as soon as TJ's music hit, he was my entire focus.

I could feel his pain as he lost his championship. The crowd were infuriated and chanting 'No' while TJ looked as if his entire world had been shattered. All I wanted was to give him the biggest hug, this is one of the worst moments of our relationships. Not being able to show affection to my man when he was at his lowest. I sent him a message saying 'I can't wait to see you and make you feel loads better xxx' with a winky emoji and some hearts, but I knew he wanted to be alone. I knew he was coming home soon, and all I wanted was to snuggle up with him.

But then my stomach started aching. Again. It had been like this for a few days now. I didn't think anything of it. But what if? I took the test out and performed what was needed. This was deja vu all over again. The waiting. The anxiousness. Three minutes was up. I looked down at the test. A cross swept across it. Positive.

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