I know I looked fine and I used to believe that, not until we've met again because that very moment na magtama ang paningin namin deep down inside me, I know I haven't moved on.
'Cause there we are again on that little town street.
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me.
Wind in my hair, I was there, I remember it all too well.
And here we are. I thought we're gonna be okay but the past kept on getting between us. He still have Ella and I still have my fear.
Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red.
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed
And your mother's telling stories about you on a tee ball team
You taught me 'bout your past, thinking your future was me.
I don't know if I should believe him that he wants me to go back na magkaayos na kami na bumalik na kami sa dati at kami ng dalawa ang magiging magkasama sa hinaharap.
And I know it's long gone
And there was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to...
But I am too damn scared. I don't want to get hurt again. Ayoko ng paasahin ang sarili ko dahil baka lokohan na naman ito at in the end ay biktima na naman ako.
'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.
We're dancing around the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there, I remember it all too well, yeah.
Naalala ko na naman yung mga design ng araw sa sasakyan nya it obviously speaks na si Ella ang gusto nya and he's just using me for unknown reason. Ano ba ang gusto
ni kian?
Well, maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much,
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up.
Running scared, I was there, I remember it all too well.
Everything was fine 8 years ago, kung minahal nya lang sana ako or sana pinag aralan nya lang akong mahalin. Hindi siguro kami hahantong sa ganito, hindi siguro kami maghihiwalay at hindi ako
makakaramdam ng kahit na anong takot na mahalin sya ulit.
Hey, you call me up again just to break me like a promise.
So casually cruel in the name of being honest.
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all... too
well.
And maybe he's just here to break me again. Tinatry nya siguro kung hanggang saan ang tibay ko sa kanya.
Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone
I wanted to be old myself again kung saan napakalaya ko na gawin ang lahat ng walang takot. Yung sofia kasi dati 8 years ago ay hindi natatakot masaktan basta kasama nya lang si kian.
But you keep my old scarf from that very first week 'Cause it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me
You can't get rid of it 'cause you
remember it all too well, yeah
But that sofia is long dead, natuto na ko and I won't commit the same mistake again. 5 years had passed, marami na kong natutunan yet that wound is still not healed.
'Cause there we are again, when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
Wind in my hair, you were there, you
remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you
remember it all
It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well
And here I am again, making myself a fool. How can I love him and how can we be happy if I remember all the bad things that happened in the best. I remember it all too well that is and that is what blocking me from wanting to be with him aside from that I am not sure he really wants me if I still see that Daniella around
him.
Hindi ko napansing nakabalik na pala sya dahil sa lalim ng iniisip ko.
"Thank you once again for your warm welcome. See you again! Bye!" sigaw ni Taylor Swift bago sya maglaho sa paningin ko she even waved goodbye to me.
"And for the finale" sabi nya at nagulat ako ng hatakin nya ko at sumakay kami ng kotse nya ulit.
Almost 30 minutes din ang
biyahe namin at huminto ang sasakyan namin dito sa may reyes University.
Seeing this school makes it worst, mas naaalala ko lang ang lahat and it makes me feel bitter.Naluluha na ko.
"Look up" sabi ni kian kaya tumingin
ako sa langit.
Pagtingin ko ay samu't saring fireworks ang sumalubong sakin.
"Happy supposedly 8th anniversary sofia"
at dahil sa sinabi ni kian ay tumulo na ang luha ko.
"You forgot no?" sabi nya
hindi nya pa siguro napapansing umiiyak na ko.
I looked at him.
I smiled bitterly.
"How can I forget?" sabi ko.
"Fvck! Why are you crying?!" sabi nya
pupunasan nya sana ang luha ko pero tinabig ko ang kamay nya.
"How can I forget kian? Tell me? Pano ko kakalimutan ang lahat ng sakit?"
"sofia"
"The wound is still here!" turo ko sa puso ko.
"And it won't just go away! How can I come back to you if whenever I see you, all I remember was all the terrible things that happened?"
"sofia, can't you forgive me? Hanggang ngayon ba hindi mo pa din ako napapatawad? Ano pa ba ang kailangan kong gawin para mapatunayan sayo na nagsisisi na ko at mahal kita"
"You don't need to do anything kian" cold kong sabi.
"What?" kitang kita ko na ang frustration at lungkot sa mukha nya. Nakailang,padaan na din sya ng kamay nya sa buhok,nya.
"You don't need to do anything dahil kahit anong gawin mo hindi ako maniniwala at hindi magbabago ang desisyon ko na hiwalayan ka na"
"Don't do this sofia"
"Mas gugustuhan ko pang si kenz ang makasama ko kesa ikaw. I just don't want to come back to you kian.
Naiintindihan mo ba?! Ayoko na sayo!"sigaw ko sa kanya. Tulo lang ng tulo ang luha ko.
And my heart is being crumpled right now. Napahawak si kian sa mukha nya at ilang minuto rin syang nakaganun.
It hurts me to say things like that to him but it's the only thing that I can do to,protect myself. I don't wanna be ruin again.
"I understand" nagulat ako ng biglang magsalita si kian. There is coldness in his eyes and there I met again the kian 5 years ago.
"Sumakay ka na, I'm taking you home" sabi nya.
Wala naman akong nagawa kundi ang sumakay na lang dahil ayokong mag commute.
Sobrang tahimik lang namin sa sasakyan hanggang makarating kami sa condo ko.
Pagkababa ko ay hindi na ko nakapag paalam pa kay kian dahil mabilis nya iyon pinaharurot paalis.
I'm sorry kian but it's the best for the
both of us.I will always doubt you and I don't want that.
Masakit pero ito ang tamang desisyon.I hope this will be the end for the both of us.
