Shawn Mendes Imagines

plan

i really miss the old shawn. don't get me wrong, i'm happy for him. however, i just miss the handwritten & illuminate era. :(

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the darkness filled the quiet room. it felt as if there were total strangers in the bed. it wasn't always this way, but recently it's like we're just roommates. it was a very lonely feeling.

i miss waking up to make breakfast together, hearing about his day, and falling asleep in each other's bare arms. now, we mumble a goodbye, an occasional i love you, and climb into bed whenever the other is asleep.

i stared at the swirling blades as my mind raced with thoughts. i knew i ever wanted it to be like this, and i never saw it coming. maybe we rushed into things too quickly, or maybe we were wrong.

i ran my hands over my face and turned onto my side. i looked at his exhausted body. his chest heaving up and down as he slept peacefully. his lips slightly parted as soft snores escaped.

this was shawn. the boy that has been with me through everything. he's seen everything, knew me better than anyone. i knew i should be able to talk about this with him, so i was going to. right now.

i grabbed the pillow from underneath it, and hit him with it. his brown eyes opened revealing confusion and slight panic.

"what the he-," he stopped freaking out when he saw me with a small smile, "what is going on?"

"we need to talk." i said crossing my arms over my chest.

"at three in the morning?" he asked with annoyance in his tone. he began to turn back over, but i reached out to place my hand on his shoulder. i felt him tense underneath my touch.

i pushed my brows together as i got worried, "yes, right now."

he sighed before sitting up to face me. he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before pulling the blanket over his lap. he looked at me waiting for me to get to the point.

"shawn, this isn't us. we have barely talked to each other in months, i can't even remember the last time we had a dinner together, or even kissed! it's like i'm living with a stranger, and of all things i never thought this would be our lives." i felt like a weight had been lifted when i finally expressed my feelings.

he stayed silent as he processed what i said. his expression turned from confusion to anger. i swallowed hard as he shifted uncomfortably.

"so you're mad that we don't have the time to do the things we used to? i thought we already knew that this would happen. work is just crazy, and i don't have the time to do those things anymore." he said shaking his head.

i felt my chest burn at his words. it felt like he was saying he didn't have time for me anymore, which was baffling to me. he always promised that no matter what, he would try. i also promised that i would be there no matter what, but i'm done trying if he's not going to even put in some effort.

"wow," i laughed nervously, not believing him, "well since you don't have time for those things anymore, why am i still here? i have no clue what to do. i've tried to stick with you through it all, but i can't keep doing this if you're not going to be there for me. i need to know if you want me, and if you see a future anymore." i searched his face for any answer, but it was just blank as he fumbled with the comforter.

i felt tears begin to build in my eyes as realization sat in. this can't be happening. the man i thought was my forever was slowly giving up on us.

i threw the blanket off of me, and began rummaging through my closet.

"what are you doing?" his voice was now shaky and concerned.

"i'm leaving," i turned my head to see him. the moonlight shining in, illuminated his face. i now could see him fully. my heart ached for him. his eyes were slowly becoming red, his hands were slightly shaky.

"no, no please. i can explain." he rushed to get off the bed to get to me, but i shook my head.

"shawn, it's too late for that." i began putting my clothes into my bag, but jumped when i felt his hand on my waist. my skin burned underneath his warm touch, i felt my chest tighten even more.

"please, i love you. i can explain all of this, and it's not for any of the reasons you think." his hard chest pushed into my back making me close my eyes tightly. i placed the bag down before slowly turning around to face him.

"i wanted to surprise you. i've been planning this for the past year, but i didn't want you to have any idea. i'm now realizing i probably went too far," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously before grabbing a small box from his nightstand, "i got this the day i got home from the tour, and was waiting for the right time. i thought distancing myself would cause less suspension. it hurt me every single day, but i knew you deserved to have the whole grand proposal," he opened the box revealing the beautiful diamond encrusted ring.

i gasped as tears began to fall down my face, "shawn..." i choked out in disbelief.

"will you-," i cut him off by wrapping my body around him causing him to stumble back slightly.

"yes, yes shawn." i said gripping onto him tightly. the feeling of his attention and love that i craved so badly, was now here. i was beyond relieved that it all made sense.

"baby, you didn't even let me finish." he said with a small chuckle that vibrated against me.

i pulled back as he sat me down on the ground to place the ring on my finger. i stared at it for a second before crashing my lips onto his. he held onto my tightly as he deepened the kiss.

"i'm sorry i ruined it." he said smiling through tears in his eyes.

"as long as you never try to take it back, it's fine." i said holding his face in my hands. his warm smile
made me ignite with happiness. i should have never doubted my boy, and i never will again.