Shawn Mendes Imagines

different •2•

"you want some more coffee?" angela asked as she walked into the kitchen.

"oh no, i'm okay." my grip tightened around the half empty mug. i stared at the light brown liquid that had steam slowly rising above.

"y/n," angela's tone was full of concern. something i had been getting a lot recently, "everything is going to be okay."

"maybe i should just check my phone, just to see if he's called." i said reaching for my purse.

"no, that is the last thing you need right now." she protested as she placed a plate with a waffle in front of me. i hadn't had an appetite in days, but the smell made my stomach growl. i pushed the plate away and leaned my head in my hand.

today was particularly hard for me. it was the day shawn came home. i have no idea how he would react. i've ran over hundreds of possibilities, but i don't know what to expect from him anymore. for all i know, we could never speak again.

"i'm gonna run out and get a few groceries, do you want to join?" angela asked as she popped a few sugar cubes into her coffee cup.

i needed to get out of the house, i was starting to go insane. however, i couldn't bring myself to do it. i just shook my head causing her to look at me with the same concerned look i've been getting for the past few days. nothing else was said and she walked up the stairs.

i decided to watch some tv, but made sure to stay away from any celebrity gossip channels. i stuck to sitcoms and settled into the couch. angela came down a few minutes later and mumbled a goodbye before leaving.

tiredness took over me after a few episodes, so i laid down and closed my eyes. the sound of the laughing track slowly faded out as i drifted off.

shawn's pov:

the car came to a stop, causing my body to jolt slightly. my eyes stared at the house in front of me as i pulled the keys out of the ignition. i suddenly realized that i didn't think this far ahead.

what if she isn't here? what if she is? what am i supposed to say? what do i want to happen?

i pushed all the thoughts out of my head. all of the possibilities and reality. i just needed to see her. i hopped out of the car and slammed the door shut. i ran my fingers through my hair, i probably looked a mess.

i took a deep breath as i stood in front of the wooden door. i brought my shaky hand up to the doorbell, and hesitated. i closed my eyes tightly before pressing the button.

your pov:

my eyes fluttered open from the sound of a loud ringing. i rubbed my eyes as i threw the blanket off of me. my head was pounding as i stood up. the cold hardwood under my feet made me shiver as i made my way to the door.

i opened the door and felt my heart ache. shawn's honey colored eyes bored into mine. his hands were stuffed into his sweatpants pockets. the silence was deafening, and the awkwardness could be seen a mile away.

"i got your note." shawn's voice was flat as he spoke.

i felt all the air in my lungs being sucked out. he looked so hurt and broken. i couldn't believe i did this to him. but i had reasons.

"come in." i said looking down as i moved out of the doorframe.

i closed the door behind him, my eyes closed tightly. i still couldn't process exactly what was happening. i thought he might've shown up, but i thought it was ridiculous.

i turned around to see him pacing back and forth. his fingers running through his hair as his eyes fixated on the floor.

"why couldn't we have just talked it out?" shawn asked stopping.

"you don't think i tried? every time i would try you would say you were busy, or i would leave a voicemail telling you it was important." i said feeling anger grow in my chest.

"y/n," my named rolled of his tongue so effortlessly. instead of the usual loving tone, it was bitter.

"you promised that we would talk, no matter what. now, we did for the first month or two, but it faded out. the calls for shorter, the messages stopped, the only time i really heard your voice was on the tv or radio. i didn't want to read my relationship in a magazine or have to hear it from total strangers," my chest started to feel lighter as i let out all i had been holding back, "not to mention the headlines that i had sent to me, or that i was tagged in. i never got reassurance, i never knew if they were true or not, i just had to ignore the photos because you weren't there." by the time i had finished talking, my cheeks were stained with tears.

he stayed silent as he processed my speech. he took a deep breath before stepping closer to me. "i messed up. i got so caught up with my life on tour, that i didn't worry about my life back here. i was so stupid, and there is no acceptable apology or explanation. i was a dick, and you didn't deserve it," he placed his warm hand on my cheek, i closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, "but we can't just throw it all away. we have been through so much together, it's always been us at the end of the day."

i swallowed hard and backed away from him. i was still angry at him for what he did, but he was right. we were strong together, and i'm so in love with him that it hurts to breathe. i can't imagine my life without him.

but how am i supposed to just get past the fact that he just forgot about me when he was away. who's to say that he was loyal during that time, or that it won't happen when he goes away again.

"shawn," i shook my head, "i need you tell me that you didn't cheat on me." he looked shocked.

"you know i would never do that to you, or that i would ever want to. you're everything i want and all i'll ever need baby." he said his brows knitted together as his eyes glazed over.

"but what happens when you go away again, and just forget me. am i supposed to just wait around and accept your apology when you get back?" i asked crossing my arms over my chest.

"no, because there won't be a next time. i will never put you through this again. i'm still the man that asked you to marry me last year, i'm not any different. i promise baby," he placed his hands on my shoulders as he looked into my eyes, "this will never happen again."

i took a deep breath and knew that i couldn't let this slip away because of a mistake, i know that i've made them to and he didn't just abandon me. "okay." i said softly.

"okay? okay. as in we're okay?" he asked shaking slightly as he brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"yes, but we need to work on some stuff." i tell him.

"i know baby, you just need to come home first." he said cupping my cheek. i nodded, and then the next moment his lips were on mine. the same lips that make fireworks ignite throughout my body every time.

he wasn't any different than when he left.

i'm thinking about doing either a harry styles imagine book or an actual book with him as the love interest but i'm not sure.