Some Fluffy Among Us Logic One-shots

Green Drink

[Synopsis: Stoner invites Veteran over to Mickey D's with him to get one of his favorite seasonal treats...only to find that he's been calling it the wrong thing ever since he discovered it.]

[LOCATION: A Mickey D's, duh. XP]

This was just something short I whipped up after getting one myself a handful of days ago. Figured it'd make for a nice fic. :3

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"Uhhh...hello?"

"Hey, Stoner, are you here yet?" Veteran asked his green-clad friend over the phone. "I don't see your car anywhere."

"Broooo, like...who needs a car when you can go out on a killer walk?" Stoner drawled, very obviously under some sort of influence...Veteran rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure whether to be thankful that he wasn't driving the way he was or annoyed that he was this way at all.

"Are you at least close by, man?"

"Huh...? Oh, oh yeah, heck yeah I am dude! Uh, in fact I think I can see you standin' outside right now."

Veteran scanned his surroundings, and lo and behold, there was Stoner plodding his way up the sidewalk with just a handful of yards left before he made it to the door.

"Oh Veteran, I gotta let'chu go. I've gotta meet up with a buddy here at Mickey D's."

"Stoner...I'M the one you're supposed to be meeting up with, remember?"

"Oh...Ohhhh yeah, that's right, ain't it?"

Veteran hung up the phone, the green crewmate doing the same just a moment later, and the latter made his way towards the entrance to the restaurant and extended a fist.

"S'up, Vet? You ready for the best munchies you've ever munched on?"

"If you say so," he shrugged as they entered through the glass doors. "But I gotta ask, Stoner. Why do you like this place so much? I've seen you make WAY better food with your own two hands than anything this place can churn out. And I don't mean to brag, but uh...My mom's got the whole cooking thing down to a T herself."

"Dude. Bro. That's the whole point," Stoner told him. "You don't HAVE to use your own two hands, you just pay someone else to, man! Besides, I don't have the gear I need to make the best drink ever concocted."

The yellow crewmate raised an eyebrow.

"The best drink ever concocted?" he echoed.

"Just you wait. I'll get you one, if you wanna try it."

Figuring it best to say yes to a bit of extra free food, Veteran shrugged and nodded in agreement as he followed a stoked Stoner over to the front counter, where the green bean proceeded to take their order.

"What do you want, Vet?"

"Whatever you're having," he shrugged. "...As long as it's not a Filet O' Fish."

"Gotcha, man. A'ight, uhhh, can I get two Quarter Pounders, both with extra cheese, and, uhh...two medium fries."

The banana-clad crewmate, who looked absolutely dead inside behind that smiling mask plastered on her face, took his order and nodded.

"Will that be all for you today?"

"One more thing, dudette. Get me and my compadre here a couple o' those green drinks."

"Um...green drinks?"

"Yeah, the ones you give out here in March. We'll take two mediums and that'll be about it."

The banana crewmate shrugged and finished Stoner's order, then handed him the order number and waved the two off as they left to find a table.

"Man, dude...shame Player couldn't come around, huh?" Stoner lamented as the two sat down at a booth. He'd sent an invite to the red crewmate, but Player had apologetically declined.

"Yeah, I know. He's been uber careful ever since that little incident with your soup...I would just say he could've gotten something without the cheese, but you never know what might be lurking in the BUNS either."

"True that, Mr. Burger-lovin' king."

"Hey, I wouldn't promote rival joints in this place if I were you. As much as I love the memes they spawned..."

At that, the green crewmate sank further into his seat, eyes just barely open. Veteran knew he'd been puffing a bit of the devil's lettuce recently, but Stoner looked especially...well...stoned right now, even more than usual.

"How much of that stuff did you use before we met here?" Veteran asked.

"Uhhh...a little more than usual," he admitted. "I reeeeaaaally wanted to work up an appetite so I'd be EEEEXTRA excited to chow down, heh...eh...Also I wasn't really paying much attention, so I might've snuffed a little more than I meant to."

Veteran sighed and rolled his eyes again.

Well, I guess he could've chosen something worse to dive into, he figured.

"#419, your order's ready!"

The voice came from the front counter, and Stoner looked at his order to confirm that it was them being called on.

"Ahhh man, just one off? Bummer..."

Stoner headed off to fetch their food, and he was back in a jiffy, sporting a surprising amount of bounce in his step. He plopped the tray on the table, sat down across from the yellow crewmate and began to dish everything out accordingly.

"Alright, here's your QP, here's the fries...heh, here's the ketchup. Aaaaaand..."

He placed the final item before Veteran with an anticipating grin: a tall plastic cup filled to the brim with thick spring green liquid, topped with a very generous swirl of whipped cream.

"I'm tellin' you, Vet, these things are the BOMB."

"Shamrock Shakes?" he realized. "Yeah, I've had these before, they're good."

Stoner tilted his head in confusion.

"Uh...what'd you call it?"

"Shamrock Shakes. That's...what these things are called."

"That's what people call green drinks?"

"Uh, yeah," Veteran told him as he unwrapped his burger. "That's what EVERYONE calls them. Including the people who make 'em."

"But...whah...? Th-they had a different name this whole time?"

"You've just been calling them 'green drinks'?"

"Yeah, dude! That's what I've always called 'em! No one here's ever told me otherwise when I ordered one! Ah..."

Stoner's eyes glazed over in blank denial.

"...My whole reality's turned upside down. I don't know what's true and what's not anymore..."

Veteran shrugged and took a bite out of his sandwich, a bit indifferent to its taste. Sure, it was good, but the burgers at Cheese Louise still topped it. Besides, he had other problems on his hands he had to focus on right now.

"What...why didn't anyone tell me...?" the green crewmate asked, looking about as pale as his shake.

"Huh...I dunno," he replied, voice muffled behind the food in his mouth. "Maybe they just knew what you were talking about and didn't wanna correct you and start some kinda fight. These people have to deal with a looot o' Karens compared to you and I. Believe me; I've seen it."

Stoner slumped back into his chair.

"Man...well now I feel stupid."

"Eh. Don't worry too much about it," Veteran said to him as he grabbed a fry and popped it in his mouth. "There are worse things one can do than call something the wrong thing. Besides, at least you got what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah...guess so," Stoner figured. "Thanks, dude."

"No prob," Veteran told him. "...Now eat your lunch before it gets cold, man."

"Oh, right. Heh heh..."