Just Robin Oneshots Part 2

3rd Day of Christmas

Still in the honeymoon phase of cutesy shit. There'll be angst one day....

This will contain BirdFlash coz I love that gay shit

Edited 06/02/2024: format change and some additions

There were a few things that Dick had never done. When you lived the life he did, you've probably experienced nearly everything you could experience. Yet one of these experiences Dick never had was the feeling of being drunk off your tits. 

He wasn't much of a drinker in his defence. The most he'd ever had were a couple of beers and maybe a shot or two to blend in when he was undercover. He could blame his work for making it impossible to take a night off. The last thing anyone would want was for him to come swinging in unsteady on his feet and five seconds from passing out if he hadn't already from the momentum sickness. He got FOMO both for drinking and for working so it was a double-edged sword.

Wally had been drunk a few times but the feeling never lasted longer than an hour thanks to his hyper-metabolism. When he did bother to get drunk he preferred to hang around drunk people. Drunk people were the funniest people he knew and enabling his friends to drink a little bit too much was fun as all hell. He'd never make them drink so much they'd be sick but if they were wanting jager bombs despite having to be up early to train, he wasn't exactly going to deny them but he would leave a glass of water and aspirin on their nightstand when they went to bed. He liked to think of himself as devil's advocate with a bit of care on the side.

So when Dick, a virgin to the feeling of ultimate drunkenness, suggested they get drunk together, Wally was speedy to agree. They decided to drink at home since they couldn't risk Dick letting something slip in public whilst drunk. It also meant they didn't have to pay stupid amounts of money for minimal amounts of alcohol in some clubs and wouldn't make too many stupid decisions. They sat down with a bottle of tequila and whatever had the highest percentage, some mixers and shot glasses, then began a night of drunken antics.

Despite only drinking half a litre of pure alcohol throughout his entire life, it did take a few hours of straight drinking for the effects to sink in. They blamed the number of chemicals and sedatives Dick had been given from a young age had done a number on his tolerance. Wally had taken it upon himself to count Dick's drinks, just in case something happened or he went too hard. He counted four shots and ten bottles of whatever they'd picked up. 

"You good over there?" he asked, barely holding in laughter. Dick's eyelids were a mix of half shut and half squinted. 

"Fabulous," he responded. "You know, I think I'm a tiny bit drunk," he added, taking another sip. Wally grinned at him, excited to see what his friend was like drunk. As easygoing as he appeared, a lot of thought went into his persona. It'd be interesting to witness what Dick was like without the planning.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed," he teased. His teasing fell upon deaf ears as Dick began to sway slightly. "I think you've had enough now Dickie," he warned. He didn't want to be dealing with his boyfriend throwing up all night. The younger frowned but took the warning. Dick placed the bottle he'd just finished down and wormed his way under Wally's arm.