Just Robin Oneshots Part 2

Crack, fluff and angst all in one

me: tries to stand up quietly in class

my joints: oh haven't you heard? *cracks so loudly my teacher asks if I'm okay*

"Dick, you stay on that couch!" Babara yelled as she opened the door. She gave him a good glare to keep him still then turned her back, knowing he wouldn't be there when she turned back around. She couldn't stand him like this. He stuck his tongue out at her then became fascinated with it as though he'd never seen it before in his life. She sighed. Hopefully, that would keep him busy for a while. "Artemis! Perfect timing," she greeted, pulling her inside quickly. The blonde raised a curious eyebrow at her then at the condition Dick was in. He was pulling on his tongue, straining his eyes so he could see it better. "You text me "I need your help now," it's not like I wouldn't be right over," Artemis responded.

"I thought I explained the situation?" the ginger replied, pulling out her phone to check. There was a second message but it was unintelligible. Probably because Dick was doing something and she didn't have time to check it over. "Oh, well the situation is Dick fractured some ribs and the like so they put him on strong painkillers. Only problem is that he's a bit of a lightweight and gets...weird," she attempted to explain. She glanced over to the couch where the acrobat was currently missing. "How?" she shouted, looking around. "Where did you go you fucking gremlin?"

"Knives are shiny," Dick stated from the kitchen. He was holding a rather large steak knife and twisting it so it caught the light. Barbara wheeled over speedily and took it from his hands. It wasn't that hard since he was much weaker than usual and he grumbled in protest. "No knives," Barbara said sternly. "I have errands to run but I can't let him outside or leave him alone. That's where you come in," she added, addressing Artemis. "Think you can handle him for an hour?" There was no way Artemis could say no. Her friend sounded so tired and she looked like she really needed a few hours away from her man child boyfriend. "Of course," she answered with a smile. Barbara sighed in relief, mouthing a thank you, then turned to Dick who'd finished pouting about the knives thing and was distracted with something outside. "Dickie, I'm going to go out for a little while. Artemis is going to stay with you," she said after tugging on his arm. He frowned and hugged her tightly, only smiling when he got a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back before you know it."

After watching Barbara leave, Artemis turned back to Dick who was inconveniently not in the kitchen anymore. "How does he do that?" she muttered, searching the kitchen for any sign of him. She caught a glimpse of his leg getting tugged into one of the larger cupboards and huffed. "Bet you can't find me!" he shouted. He clearly wasn't on top form but she was thankful for that. If he was, this would be even more hell-like than she could ever imagine. Deciding to play along, she waited a few minutes before opening the cupboard door he was in. He grinned at her cheekily and crawled out. "Found you but don't do your Bat thing and disappear on me, you'll give me a heart attack," she cautioned. He nodded yet the message wasn't really taken in. He didn't have the capacity to understand he just aggravated his ribs by cramping himself into a small cupboard so taking on a serious request was out of the question. "How about you just go sit on the couch?" Artemis suggested. Dick shook his head and jumped up, nearly falling back over with how harshly he jumped up. He gripped the side of the counter and shook off the pain. The pain was pretty mild and he'd definitely had worse so it didn't do much to stop him in his tracks. "I want to set something on fire," he stated matter of factly. He then began rooting around the nearest draw for a lighter. 

"Don't set something on fire!" Artemis exclaimed. She grabbed his wrist and slammed the drawer shut. Tears bubbled up in his eyes as he snatched away his wrists.