A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Revelations Part II

"Tracey Green where have you been honey?" Lena asked as the young adult had shown up at the home for the family barbecue despite trying to avoid Stef at all costs. Not that she didn't want to see her or talk to her because she did miss the woman but there were a few things going on that she wasn't sure how to tell her and she wasn't sure if Stef already knew. That alone caused her to have a stomache  for despite her age Tracey knew Stef would and could still kick her ass just like she had back in jail.  Especially in regards to what she had done even if it was a mistake and she was not in the right frame of mind when it happened. One thing she was afraid of was loosing her relationship with Stef over it for the blonde meant more to her then anyone in the world. Trying not to think too hard she hugged Lena back as the slim woman affectingly grabbed her hands smiling.

 "Hi Mama Lion. I'm sorry its just been crazy with work, looking for work and getting my music out there."

"I understand honey. We just missed you and mom has been very worried about you. She stopped over a few times."

"Yeah um, I'm good and I'll talk to her. Is she um here?" The nervous girl asked as Lena could see the worry on  Tracey's face which she had not witnessed since Chowchilla. But it wasn't really surprising for she knew Tracey had been avoiding Stef and had been for months for reasons neither of them were sure of.   The blonde had her guesses but she wasn't for certain they were correct and it was driving her up a wall.

"She went to get more soda's with Jude. Is everything ok honey?"

"Yeah, I'm all good Mama Lion. I'm just gonna go say hi to everyone."

"Are you sure you are ok? You can always talk to me you know that right honey? Nothing has changed."

"I know but I'm good. Really. I'm gonna go say hi to Frankie and Cals." Walking off in a hurry Lena eyeballed the girl for it was the same as always. Every time Stef called her, if she could get a hold of her, and every time Lena called her Tracey cut the conversation short or just spoke vaguely. The blonde had even shown up on more then one occasion at her apartment but she was rarely there which made Stef insane. Letting out a sigh Lena wasn't sure what to do but she knew damm sure her wife was going to get to the bottom of it today. And she would.

Callie also knew Tracey wasn't really being herself as she saw the older girl walk over to her looking worried.

"Trac where have you been! It's been forever!" She said hugging her as Tracey returned it.

"I need to talk to you Cal. You got a minute? Before mom comes."

"Yeah sure. Is everything ok?"

"Not really."

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"It just kind of happened." Tracey said as the two sat on Frankie's bed talking quietly. "I don't know I was so blasted. Like really really blasted and I even blacked out.  Cals, if mom finds out what I did she's going to kill me. Like really fucking kill me and never fucking speak to me again. I don't know what to do and I've been rattling my brain for weeks about it."

"Trac you know mom will still speak to you. She might be angry for just a little bit but you know she loves and cares for you no matter what.  I mean aside from what happened everyone makes mistakes Trac. They do and I've made a million and mom got pissed at me but no matter what she was always there. Always."

"You are different Cal. You always have been. You are really her daughter. I mean from day one."

"So are you Trac. She fought for you many times in jail and still does now. Do you know how worried she's been about you. I mean really worried."

"Nah. Not like you. I've never been upset about it because I'm just not and it was fine with me. But your relationship with her is totally different then the one I have with her. It always has been Cal for many reasons. Mom almost threw me out the den back in the day and she literally ripped me to shreds. She would never have thrown you out. Ever."

"Trac she only said that back then because she was angry with you.  She would not have done it. Ever. And who is to say she would not have thrown me out too because she as ripped me to shreds as well. She has many times when I screwed up here."

 "Cals look I know she loves me and I will always love her and respect her more then I have anyone in this world. But the reality is that she might never forgive me especially with what I did now.  I didn't have her back with what I did. I just didn't and she's never gonna trust me again or believe that I'm still loyal to her."

"You always had moms back Trac. Always, and you still did and do. Plus you are the most loyal person ever. Listen I mean you were wasted, drunk and high and seriously, I think she will be more upset about that then the other thing. But I thought you left all that behind. Since when have you been getting high? Like is this a regular thing? Have things been that rough for you? Why did you tell me what was going on T?"

"I wasn't ready Cal. Yeah it's been a bit hard  and I know it's no excuse. It really isn't and I feel terrible about all of it. I haven't done anything since that night, honestly."

"Have you cut?"

"Hell no. I'm done with that. Believe me. Truth is I know I can't avoid mom forever no matter how much I want to. She's just going to fucking explode on me because this is an unspoken rule. Never ever mess with someones ex, ever. Especially your leaders."

"Trac if you had not been drunk or high you would never have done it right?"

"Definitely not! Never!"

"Ok then just be honest about what happened.  No matter how scared you are.  It's better to tell her then for her to find out from someone else. But honestly at the end of the day she loves you. She loved all of us in there and still does. Truthfully."

"This is different Cal. Tula and I fucked. There's no coming back from that. There just isn't."

"Tula and you what?" Stef asked as she stood in the doorway not believing what she heard. Neither her or Lena as Tracey swallowed hard recognizing that look on the blonde's face. It was the same look she gave her in jail when she fucked up. But this was somewhat different for if possible it was worse. 

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Well that's not good. Yikes. Zero clues as to what Stef will say or how she will feel.