A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Daughters and Doubts

"Mind if I sit?" Stef asked the young mother as Callie sat on the back porch of the home not really saying much. Since dinner and her outburst with Stef she had tried to calm her own daughter down but had been unsuccessful. Very for truth was she didn't know how to discipline baby Stef and never had.  Maybe that had been her fault for she was so young when she had the girl and didn't know much to the point she relied on both Stef and Lena heavily. With baby Andrew it was much easier for she was older and had a better sense of how to be a mother. As she heard the blonde ask if she could sit the girl nodded her head and slightly moved over. She knew this was coming and there was no real way she could escape the talk as Stef carefully took a seat beside her. Many times the two had deep conversations in this back yard long before they got it renovated and long before they had a dime to their name. Those were the days when Callie would pass out beside her mother or with her head in her lap and even Stef herself would pass out with her head in Callie's lap. It was an old habit from jail and something the two always did.

"Ya know Callie life can suck when you don't remember certain things or certain relationships you had. Especially one's with your children." The blonde admitted looking out into the distance as Callie looked to her fingers.

"Yeah. But you're remembering. You remember more then you did six months ago."

"Yes it's a start but I don't remember everything. Especially in regards to you and me."

"It's ok I understand. I know it hasn't been easy for you and I know you are working hard. I get it."

"Yes but I sense you are really angry with me."

"I'm not. What would I be angry about." The girl said now getting up and standing near the porch railing. She couldn't at this moment look Stef in the eyes for she was feeling so many things that she couldn't bare to tell 

"No? You know I looked at a lot of old photos of us and cards you gave me and wrote me and they were very sweet and very personal.  You wrote me alot of letters too that I reread trying to get a sense of our relationship Callie. I remember you I just don't remember what we were babe. Listen, I know parts of me have changed and maybe I'm not 100 percent who I was.  But I love all of you. I do and I want to get to know you again and Alice as well. Unless you don't want that anymore."

"I never said that, but I just think I need space and baby Stef needs space to."

"Space from us? From your family? Why?"

"Look we just do. Ok?" The girl said growing rather frustrated which Stef didn't get.

"No Callie it's not ok. What is wrong? You need to tell me. You need to be honest."

"Look nothing is wrong so why can't you just accept that I don't need you like I use to. I'm almost 30.  I just want to live my life with my daughter and son be left alone. Can't you understand that?"

"No I can't because I don't think you are being honest Callie. I really, really don't think you are. And I'm going to ask you again. What in the hell is wrong? Just what is it? Tell me come on."

"I told you already Stef."

"Stef? So is that who I am to you now? Do you not want me to be your mother anymore?"

"I never said that. Look I don't want to talk anymore."

"Well you don't have a damm choice. You all of sudden want to take baby Stef and you all of a sudden have this attitude with me. I want to know that damm reason and I want to know what is wrong. And I won't leave you alone until you tell me or you tell Mama Lion."

"I'm not a child. I don't need to tell you. So do me a favor and stop bothering me and just leave me alone. I don't need any of this and I don't need a mother."