A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Like Old Times

"So what you got planned for this big hot date. I hope alot of wine and alot of fucking." Roxy said laughing as Stef glanced to her rolling her eyes.  Never in a million years did  Roxy think she would ever be sitting next to the blonde again, laughing and joking and trying to help her once again plan a date with Lena.  Despite her memory coming back Roxy still had not told Stef anything that transpired between them in the last decade for she was rather scared if she was honest. She was because she was enjoying their time together and felt like she got a clean slate with the woman. In her mind however the only real way to get a clean slate was to come clean before the blonde would start to remember the not so good things between them, and Lena as well as Mike had warned Roxy more then once. "Unless you still ain't ready to fuck."

"Why do you want to know or care if we are fucking or not."

"I don't care if ya'll fuck or not but it's been six month and I'm pretty damm sure your sex drive must be back by now and I'm sure Lena is waiting on a cue from you."

Rolling her eyes once again at her sister who was rolling dough for her bread loaves the blonde let out a sigh.

"What are you stressed out about? For real Stef. It's Lena. You got this."

"How, how am I supposed to take her on a date if I can't drive. I can't have her drive."

"Seriously?"

"No not seriously. Of course."

"Stef, let me remind you the first time you tried to get Lena we were all fucking locked up with rules and shit. Somehow we got passed  all that. Now we are free, free as birds so I'm sure you can come up with something. Shit even order fancy ass pizza with some wine and a little dessert and some tub time. That's it. Get some flowers because you already remember she loves them.  Better yet I'll make whatever you want."

"You have enough to do I can't ask you to do that."

"I love cooking and baking anything."

"You didn't always. When did you realize this all?"

"MM by accident really. Parole officer stuck me to work at a crappy as diner. Then a coffee shop that sold these nasty sweet ass desserts. I was bored and Peaches was working, and Jesus had to eat so I started experimenting. Then you, well you had your stroke and I couldn't sleep for shit so I baked all night. Came up with new recipes and shit. Found out it was real cool."

"That's really nice Rox. I'm happy for you. I, I am. I'm glad you found something that you are passionate about so that you do not end up back in jail. Speaking of Jesus I've been meaning to ask you, how is Raquel?"

"Raquel?" Roxy asked and letting out a sigh for damm out of all the people Stef had to remember it was her only daughter. How could she tell her, how in the fuck could she tell her that she killed her own goddaughter in jail.  It all felt so long ago over nothing but bullshit but not a day went by that Roxy didn't think of her. Not one single day and it was one reason she was trying to help Mariana so bad.

"Well um Raquel didn't make it Stef. Jail got to her, you know she found a way to get drugs and that was it."

"Serious? Really?"

"Yeah. Bout maybe 11 years ago."

"Shit I'm sorry I forgot. I...

"Nah it's all good, it's ok. But look I want you to know I'm glad you are feeling better because it was scary. Some scary ass shit thinking we might loose you and, and it was a mess. But I'm glad you are here, you are still a pain in the ass but  I'll take that any day. I'm serious." The overweight woman said smiling a bit.

"Thanks Rox. I'm glad too.  You know I never thought that would happen to me. "

"No one does Stef."

"My doctor warned me. But I was smoking. Alot."

"You always had that shitty habit. And everyone in jail fucking smokes too when we can get that shit. Some of us have an easier time of stopping. Like Lena? She quit cold ass turkey."

"Lena smoked?"

"Hell yeah! We all smoked enough for this entire block! Sometimes we dipped in some weed to. Not often but sometimes."

"Probably because prison was so fucking stressful."

"Fuck yeah it was." Roxy laughed as Stef continued to look on her tablet for first date ideas and Roxy was still debating on saying something, on telling her the truth about them and also what happened with Peaches.

"How is Mariana? She ok?"

"Keeping an eye on her and got her in therapy."

"That's good. She's a sweet girl but so angry. What happened with her? I mean besides being a teenager was it anything in particular?"

"I don't know. I guess um she just had a hard time." Roxy said vaguely as Stef was trying herself to remember and it was one thing the family had not told her about. However, each day she started to gain more and more memories back and this day was no different.

"You know it's weird when you loose your memory because when you do remember sometimes you don't know if they are memories. You don't know if they are dreams or real or what."

"I'm sure. I'm real sure."

"Sometimes I have this dream that you and I are fighting and we don't talk. I don't know what we fight about but it's almost as if I hate you. But then I don't know why. Was that ever the case with us?" Roxy upon hearing that really did not want to lie, but at the same time she really did not want to tell her what happened. She just wanted them to enjoy the time together so she could help Stef plan the date.

"We had our issues sometimes sister girl. You know like anyone does. And we always made up and shit. But there was never anything more to it. We fought like any normal sisters would fight. For real."

"Yeah I figured. I can't see myself hating you ever. You were always by my side even as kids. I mean my daddy didn't have us doing anything kosher but you were my best friend, and always tried to help me with my girlfriends." The blonde laughed as Roxy did as well.

"Because your ass sucked at romance. That's why. Yeah fucking you ain't have no issue but you know dating, and romance you needed help. Still do."

"OH, oh fuck you. I don't need help I could plan this entire date myself with Lena."

"No you can't. So cut your bullshit and let me plan the meal. You just better get some flowers and that tub ready."

"Yeah yeah." Thr blonde said laughing as Roxy let out a quiet sigh for she had backed out yet again.

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So she still didn't tell Stef what happened between them. Yikes. Would you?