A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Harsh Treatment

Aside from Sharon showing up at Stef's a few weeks ago, the troubles with Peaches and Roxy, Mariana and Jesus, Ali's upcoming adoption, the blonde's health issues, and now to top it off Tracey's issues which made Stef so angry she had not spoken to the troubled girl since the barbecue which was two weeks ago. Why? Because she was angry at a variety of things and beyond disappointed that she just didn't even know what to do about it. 

"Do you ever plan on talking to Tracey again Stef?"

"I have no idea Lena." The blonde responded as the two were getting ready for work and making coffee. Lena had been on Stef constantly in terms of Tracey and it was making the blonde crazy. It was also making Lena crazy as well for she could see how stubborn her wife was being and needed to deal with the situation no matter how difficult. 

"That's not a good enough answer Stefanie. You were very, very hard on her  and clearly she needs help. Our help."

"Why? She is a big girl and knows well enough to leave that shit alone. Am I supposed to babysit her. Huh? Are you? Dumb ass she is. Let her figure it out."

"Stef." Lena said continuing to be surprised by her constant coldness. "You don't mean that. We love her. I mean don't you?"

"Sure I do. But I'm not tolerating that. She can figure it out."

"How? How can she figure it out Stef. No one can figure this out alone and we can't just leave her to handle this without support because we know she has a problem. What caused her to use again and disappear for months. Something did and it's evident she is depressed. Life has been hard for her lately and harder then she realized."

"Lena she disappeared because she fucked Tula and didn't want to tell me or find out. So she hid. That's why. Ok lets be real here." Taking a sip of her coffee Stef ran her fingers through her long hair as Lena glared at her. She glared at her intensely because something had been bothering her about this entire thing but she too didn't want to ask or face it.

"Are you still in love with Tula?"

"What?" Stef asked looking to her surprised.

"You heard me. Are you still in love with Tula Stefanie."

"First of I was never in love with Tula Lena ok."

"Yes you were."

"What? How can you tell me how I felt." She laughed.

"Because I know you. The only thing that stopped you from being with her and continuing your relationship was her age. Had she been around your age you would be with her so don't lie.  Because you are only fooling yourself."

Not believing what her  wife was saying Stef laughed rather uncomfortably.

"You need to face that and accept it. Just like I have."

"Lena there is nothing to accept because it's not true."

"Well maybe you don't want it to be true. But you need to figure out if you are more upset that Tracey slept with her or the face that she relapsed."

"Of course her relapsing upset me and upsets me. You think it doesn't?"

"I have no idea because you act like you don't give a shit Stef. You have stone walled her, and me, and you have not reached out to her at all. Are you waiting until she is 6 feet under?"

"Oh stop it. Seriously woman."

"I am serious Stefanie."

"Jesus stop calling me that. You know I hate it."

"Tough. You do alot of things I hate including this. Because let me tell you Tracey loves you and adores you like no one I have ever seen.  She has done everything you have ever, ever asked of her even when she didn't agree with it.  Hell she wrote songs for  you and dedicated her entire album to you. The entire thing and she has never uttered one bad thing about you. Ever and when people did in Chowchilla she tore them to shreds. Still does."