A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

You Can Always....

*NOTE: I had to repost this. There was an error with the earlier one.

"It's just nice to, to get out. I feel, I feel so trapped in there with everyone hovering over me." Stef admitted as she sat at Tula's kitchen table. Maybe it was wrong of her to be here especially since she saw the look on Lena's face when she left. A look she didn't know but she was smart enough to know the slim woman was rather upset. What could she do really? It was difficult if she was honest but part of her only saw Lena as a caretaker and as someone who was repeatedly mothering her. That was really nothing she ever wanted. Ever.

"I understand beautiful, and you can come over here anytime. I told you that in the hospital."

"Yeah, I um, I guess I forgot."

"It's ok."Tula said smiling as she gently rested Stef's cane on the wall. "So are you hungry?"

"No. It's to much damm fucking work to eat. I, I can't be bothered. I'm always making a mess and dropping stuff."

"Nonsense Stefanie. I just made some chicken and rice last night. Let me get it and show you a really easy way to eat it." Watching the woman get up Stef's eyes couldn't help but roam the woman's body as she vaguely remembered their interactions. Vaguely as Tula caught her looking and Stef blushed.

"Sorry."

"For what?"

"For staring."

"Oh you don't need to be sorry for that. You use to stare at me like that all the time." Tula said flirting as she brought the food over in a bowl and surprising Stef by straddling her lap. The blonde had been taken rather off guard even if something seemed familiar about it. What she wasn't sure and she had not felt affection like this in some time for she didn't really let Lena this close. Ever. "Is this ok or are you uncomfortable?" She asked gently tucking Stef's hair behind her ear.

"Um no, no it's fine."

"Mm do you remember we use to sit like this. Back when we were locked up?"

"Vaguely. Vaguely."

"Yeah. Open your mouth beautiful." Tula flirted once again feeding the blonde as Stef slowly ate and finally not dropping her food. She also realized her temper was way better and not like it usually was when Lena tried to help her. But why? "Taste ok?"

"Yeah, it's um it's fine. Umm candy canes?"

"What?" Tula asked laughing.

"Candy canes. I gave you them?"

"Often. Yes."

"MM. I remember. But I don't remember how I got them."

"But you do remember stuff. See. And you got them because you were boss lady in jail."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely. Eat some more." She said continuing to feed the blonde as Stef looked her right in her eyes wanting to know more.

"Did we marry? Did I ask you to marry me?"

"Sadly no. You would not marry me."

"Why?" The blonde asked confused.

"Well, because I'm younger then you. It was a rule you had."

"A rule?"

"Yes. To not marry anyone younger then you or date anyone younger then you."

"Really?"

"Yes. I mean we were together for awhile until you met and fell in love with Lena."

"Oh. So I dumped you for her?"

"Nah not really. I knew the deal. And you warned me many, many times that we would not be together like that. I got it. I understood it but it was hard. It was hard because...."

"Because?" Looking the sad woman in the eyes Tula wasn't sure if she should say more. She knew she was messing with fire right now for the fact that Stef was over because she did not remember her wife. It was hard if she was honest because her feelings ran so deep for this woman. Really deep and if she was honest she knew she as being selfish. Big time.

"It doesn't matter." Brushing it off Stef without realizing it gently grabbed the woman's hand as Tula looked her in those intense hazel eyes. One's she knew belonged to Lena.

"It, it matters to me. Tell me. Please. So many people keep things from me now. I don't know anything anymore. Please."

"Well because I was in love with you. Pretty badly." She laughed as Stef let out a concerned look. "I mean I still like you. You are beautiful and amazing, and I like that you are here."

"You are all those things too. From what I remember about you. We um, we fucked alot?"

"Yes." She laughed as Stef couldn't help but laugh herself. "You were fucking amazing in bed. Bet you still are."

"MM I don't know about that. I haven't felt anything and I doubt I'd remember what to do."

"Well you use to do some pretty amazing shit with your tongue."

"Seriously?" Seh laughed.

"Oh yeah I would not lie about that. But all that will come back don't stress it." Smiling at the blonde Stef let one form on her face once again as the women continued to feed her.

"I feel um, ok. I feel like I can breath tonight without people all over me."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. It's stressful."

"Tell me why beautiful."

"I don't know. They, they all treat me like I'm stupid. Like I'm a fucking cripple. I'm not."

"I know you aren't and it's ok. Listen, if you want you can always move in here. I don't mind. I can help you get better and take you to therapy and everything. I'll sleep on the couch."

"I can't move in here."

"Why? You remember me. You know I will help you. And like I said I'll sleep on the couch you can have my room."

"No. You sleep in your bed Tu. I would not put you out your own bed."

"MM I'll sleep in it only if you do. I can massage your back and make you feel better. Do you want me to help you right now? Because I can."

Unsure of what to say Stef looked to the ground as Tula gently lifted her face to look into hers. It was true she wanted Stef so damm bad badder then anything as she leaned in and kissed her on the lips slowly for it had been years.  Not  even realizing what was happening Stef did not pull away at all but when she did she wasn't sure what in the hell to say or what to do."

"So think about it Stefanie. Think about moving in with me."

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Who wants a drink!?