A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Lunch

"Hey baby! There's my boy!" The blonde said hugging her son as he stepped out of the precinct smiling. It bad been a few weeks since she had seen him for everyone had been so busy. But the blonde made it a point to have lunch with him this week for she missed her first born more then anything. Yes her and Jude went through a rough patch but it was nothing compared to her and Frankie. 

"Hey mama! I missed you too."

"Yeah you better. Do you get taller every time or what my officer?"

"Nah. I'm still 6'2."

"6'2 my ass. More like 7'2."

"Ha! Not yet. So let me take you to lunch mama. My treat this time."

"No it's mine."

"Ma you pay every time. Let me spend some money on you."

"You do. So lunch is my time to spend money on you so hush up and lets go. I'm damm near starving."

Laughing at his mother Stef hooked her arm into her sons and kissed his cheek. Right now she was feeling really insecure as her role as a mother for it seemed to others and to her own children she played favorites. But that was not the case. Not at all and she really wanted to get her son's opinion as well for Jude had always been honest with her. Even when he was a young boy.

"So how are you and Olivia my love? All good?"  She asked sipping on her seltzer water.

"Yeah we are good mom. Can't complain but she says hi."

"Yeah well tell her not to be a stranger and to come by once in awhile. I'd like to see her more then once a month ya know."

"I'll tell her mom." He said laughing and taking a sip of his cola.

"Ahh better yet I'll tell her myself. I'll take her out next week. She busy?"

"She's studying for so many tests. It's really crazy so I'm sure she could use a break."

"Oh I bet. But I'm sure she will do fine. She's smart as a wipe. Reminds me of Mama Lion."

"She does. So um I heard what happened with Tracey. She gonna be ok?"

"Um yeah. Just needs a little help, ya know and she would be ok."

"I hope. She's a good person."

"Yeah. Listen um baby I want to ask you something. If you don't mind."

"Sure what's up mama?"

"Did you ever feel as if um, did you ever feel like I favor any of you over each other?"

"Meaning?"

"Well did you ever feel that I favored Noah over you or Callie?"

"Ma if your asking if you treat us all different sort of yes. Do you treat Callie different then everyone else, yeah."

Letting out a sigh Stef wasn't sure what to do or how she felt for it was yet another person confirming the same thing.

"In what way baby?"

"Well it's not a secret you loved and love us all. That we all know. But it's also no secret that you are super tough on Frankie which I get because the girl is hard headed. Super hard headed and she just has her own way of things sometimes. So I understand you have to watch her more then the others and keep her inline. Baby Stef you use to spank all the time because she was so awful  and Noah well he was pretty easy and not really a handful."

"No he's not. Never really was."

"Baby Stef got better and Callie seems like she's more capable then she ever was. Not so fragile like when you guys first got out."

"I know she was back then but do you think I still treat her like she's fragile?"

"Yes and no. I think you are use to treating her like that because she was sick and pregnant. Ma we all need something different from you. Me, Frankie, Callie, Noah, Ali, Tracey, baby Stef and Andrew. All of us and you do your best. Both you and Mama Lion and I don't have any complaints. My only thing just listen to Frankie more and let her talk. She wants to do right by you mama but she has her own ideas. And just because she has her own ideas doesn't mean she will end up in jail. Maybe she needs your help to show her how to live. "

"Yeah maybe and I know I have to work on my relationship with her.  And I guess I need to loosen the apron straps on Callie."

"You have to a point. But it's hard to let go when you have taken care of someone like that for a long time. It's not easy."

"Yeah it's not. Not by any means. Do you um, do you think I'm too hard on Tracey?"

"Tracey?" Jude asked now munching on his fries and burger and looking perplexed.

"Yeah babe. From what you have seen or heard."

"Different case mama. Do you really see her as your daughter? Or more like a sister or a cousin?"

"She is my daughter love. Just as much as Callie, Frankie and Ali."

 "Look, I don't know the dynamics of prison but from what I know and understand was you were a mom to alot of girls in there right?"

"Yeah love."

"Especially Callie and that doesn't always cross over when you get out. I know it's hard for you that Tracey was using again, and I know alot of things have been really hard lately. With Sharon showing up and Roxy back out of jail. You gotta be stressed out."

"Ahh I'm ok baby boy. It's how life is sometimes and I always aimed to be good to all of you. I love Tracey just as much as I love Callie, you, Frankie, Noah, Ali and my grandkids. I guess I fail at showing that sometimes." Letting out a sigh Stef rubbed her forehead as her son looked to her concerned. As he had gotten older he saw his mother differently then when he was a kid. He saw her faults a tad more but also saw how she took on the world and everyone else problem never seeing that she was doing her best in all cases. Getting up from his seat he sat beside her putting his arm around her and kissing her temple.

"Mama it's ok not to be strong all the time. It's ok not to know the answers to everything. You do your best with everyone and that's not always easy feeling like your responsible for everyone. I know you love us all and try your best with all of us. It's not easy because we all have different personalities."

"Do you think I'm too harsh Jude? Be honest. And do you think I play favorites?"

"I think mama you are how you are in terms of harshness. We all know that by now but in terms of favorites no. I think you expect alot from Frankie and Tracey but also maybe your scared. Scared to see them fail because you think they will?"

"I don't know love. I'd have to think about it."

"That's ok. Plus girls are a pain in the ass and to be honest I hope I'm having a boy."

"What?" The blonde asked surprised as Jude accidentally spilled the beans. "What do you mean you hope you are having a boy? Is Olivia pregnant?"

"Crap."

"Jude! Are you and Olivia expecting? Are you love?" she asked smiling wide.

"Yeah mom we are. We didn't want to tell you until Mother's Day but me and my big mouth."

"Oh my baby is going to be a daddy! Oh my god my love! I'm so excited! Give me a damm hug because this made my fucking day! You have no idea my sweet boy. I'm so happy for you." Hugging her son even harder she felt tears fall as Jude hugged her back just as tight.

"I'm glad mama. I'm glad."