A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Sad Days

The Adams Foster home had never been this quiet. Not even the day Stef and Lena moved into the tiny home had it been. But it was now and had been for it had been three weeks since Frankie left to move in with Miss Rose and Stuart. No one in the house dared to say anything about it except for baby Stef who at 11 didn't really understand the significance of it. But everyone else did as Stef stood outside the girls bedroom staring at Frankie's empty bed as all she could think about and wonder was where she went wrong.

There was no saying whom it was hardest on and whom took it the worst. Lena of course was torn, upset and disappointed in how it all went. How Stef had screamed at their daughter and got physical and how she threw the girls things out the home. She had been disappointed in that and also very disappointed in Frankie. How she dropped out of school, lied about the college letters, was smoking and having sex with god knows who. How? How could this happen under their noses and even with the short leash Stef had her own. Lena didn't understand but at the same time she knew Stef had been so hard on Frankie that it literally drove the girl away. She had complained for months how the blonde wasn't allowed her to be herself, that she felt shut out, that she felt her mother didn't listen or care to listen to her thoughts, plans or dreams. Was that true? Partly yes and Lena had warned Stef many, many times. But the slim woman had to admit she never saw it getting as bad as it did. Ever.

Watching her wife standing in the doorway of their daughters bedroom Lena now stood beside her seeing that the blonde was so deep in thought. It was like that many days now more so then not.

"You know they made a mistake." Stef soon blurted out to her wife as Lena looked confused.

"Who babe?"

"The sonogram techs. They told me for nine months that Frankie would be a boy. Even when I insisted and knew they were wrong. I just  knew my baby was going to be a girl and that they got it wrong. Which they did."

"MM how did you know?"

"Just did. Just had a strong feeling. Course I was right and when I gave birth after nearly two days of terrible labor I had a little princess.  She had a full head of curly hair ya know and she looked right at me with those big hazel eyes. Even then they were so intense. Like she was trying to see inside of me or tell me something. Crazy right?"

"No babe. Not at all. She knew you were her mama. That's all." Lena said smiling as she held the blonde's hand who hung her head low. 

"I lost so much time with her Lena. I never got to see her first steps, or be there for her first day of school, or see her loose her first tooth, her first fall. I never saw any of that. I'm glad you got to with our baby boy. I really am."

"Stef, why don't you just go over there. I can go with you and we can all talk and solve this. It doesn't need to go this way baby. I know you miss her and I'm sure she misses you too honey."

"Yeah I'm not so sure of that Lena. She was way out of line. I didn't recognize that girl. Did you?"

"Parts of her yes others no. Look there has to be a reason why she is doing what she is doing. Why she is smoking having sex and why she dropped out of school? Makes no sense."

"How did we not see that? How did she even get away with that shit. How? I never thought I had a sneaky ass daughter."

"You don't. She just feels unheard by you."

"Lena I..

"Listen I am not going to get on you. But, she wants you to listen to her. That's all you know. She is a calm girl, normally and both of you got very angry. And it wasn't good. Not by any means and maybe these past three weeks are good. Maybe it's the break and space you need from both of each other. But it's not the answer sweetheart. You and I both know that because there is a deeper issue."

"Lena I have and we have done our best with her. At least I'd like to think that. I just wanted her to be smart, I wanted and want so much for her. I wanted her to have what I didn't. Why can't she see that."

"She does but at the same time we have to let her be her."

"And what we saw is that her?  A drop out, fucking around, stealing. Is that her?"

"No. That's not Frankie. You and I both know that. That is her acting out. Being rebellious and trying to be something she is not at all. That's what that is. But the Frankie we know, and the one she is trying so hard to be is the one she wants you to see. The one she wants both of us to see but she needs to know you accept it. Once she figures out what it is."

"I accept her Lena. And I love her so fucking much."

"I know you do but I think we put too much pressure on her to be something she is not."

"So you think she should not go to school? Huh?"

"No I didn't say that. What I said was we need to guide her and help her figure out what she wants out of life. What she wants to do, what her passions are and help her figure out a way to obtain them. In her own way and on her own path. Not the one we tell her."

"Have you seen her?" Stef asked now glancing to her wife.

"Yes I have."

"She's ok?"

"Yes. But I think she misses her mother."

"Lena, who is she, who is she having sex with?"

"She wouldn't say. She still insists the condoms are not hers."

"Yeah well I don't believe that."

"Me either because I did run into Erin and she said Frankie broke it off with her weeks ago."

"Another one of my daughters I've failed Lena and don't know. How?"

"You didn't fail anyone honey. You didn't. I think with both Tracey and Frankie your approach has got to be different. Because if it's not you might never get them back honey."

"Lena I'm not budging on the school thing with Frankie. I'm just not."

"Ok but we still need to talk to her honey. Calmly. And we will find Tracey. Mike said he might have a lead."

"Yeah I hope so. I just...

"Mama's?" The two suddenly heard seeing Ali walking toward them. 

"Yeah baby what's up?" Stef asked turning around to smile at the girl who smiled back. "Everything ok baby? You need something?"

"No I was just studying and um I just wanted to tell you both how much I love you."

"Yeah?" Lena said smiling back at the girl as Stef did as well. There had been so much going on that Ali had barely seen the two women who were now her legal parents and they felt terrible about it. Terrible that they had not really been around too much in the last few weeks.

"Yeah. You know in case I haven't told you in a long time and I know there is alot going on. But I do. I love you both so much."

"We love you too sweetheart." Stef said happily as Ali hugged her warmly and Lena did as well.

"I'm gonna go finish studying."

"Sure sweets." Stef winked as the girl smiled once again walking off to finish studying. "So you are telling me I can help a girl like that who fucking stabbed me, jumped me and spit at me but I can't help a daughter I gave birth to. What the fuck is wrong with me Lena. Huh?"

"Nothing baby. You are just scared."

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I wonder how Frankie is feeling being away from Stef?