A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Balcony Talks

"So talk to me my love. Tell me what is really happening?" The blonde said to her first daughter as Frankie glanced to her mother and now back at the ground. This was not going to be an easy conversation by any means for either of them which the blonde knew. Did she want to talk about how Frankie was trying to marry her girlfriend, all the sex she was having and her smoking? No way! But she knew damm well she had to and could not run from this any longer. "Ya know I get you care about Erin I understand that but  I do not approve of you smoking those fucking vapors. Did you not see what happened to me? MM? You're not invincible babygirl. Not by any means. I mean I partly blame myself since I smoked most of your life."

"It's not your fault ma. I made the choice to smoke." Frankie said in a rather guilty tone.

"Yeah you did and it's not smart Frankie. And neither was this even if I understood it. I would have done the same damm thing you did."

"Really?"

"You bet your ass. If Mama Lion was being hurt I'd go far beyond to help her.  To the point I'd risk my own life. Which I see you think the same way mm?"

"Well yeah mama. I mean I learned that from the both of you. You guys are always there for each other. "

"That we are but Frankie this was not smart. You understand this right? I have every right to beat your ass over this but that wont get us anywhere now will?"

"I guess not." She said shrugging her shoulders as the two sat in silence for a bit.

"Then you tell me Frankie. What do I need to do in order fro you to come to me."

"Mama it doesn't matter what I do in the end. I always make you angry. I always have." She said getting up and standing toward the balcony. "It just feels like I can't do anything right. Maybe when I was little before puberty."

"That's not true baby." Stef said trying to remain calm.

"It is ma. This sounds awful it really does because I'd never wish for anything to ever happen to you again ever but we got along better after you had your stroke. You actually listened to me for the first time since I was a kid, you understood me, you let me talk and it seemed like you cared. You even took me driving and to get this tattoo. You accepted me for the person I am not the person you keep trying to push me to be."

"Frankie I have always cared about you. Are you kidding? I care more about you then you ever know and I do accept you. I do and...

"Then why do you treat me like you don't? Why? I don't get it ma." All Stef could do was just let out a sigh as she could tell Frankie was upset. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful. But what did I do? I know I made alot of mistakes but I'm not gonna end up in jail mama. I know I shouldn't smoke I know it's dumb and I know you don't want me having sex. I don't know why I am the way I am. I just know it sucks that you don't seem to love me sometimes." Letting out a sigh Stef reached her hand out waiting for Frankie to take it.

"Come here please love."Nodding her head Frankie grabbed the woman's hand as she sat beside her and Stef ran her fingers through her long wavy hair. "I do love you sweetheart. I really do and I knew pretty early on you had most of my personality. I guess I saw and see so much of myself in you that it's scary. It scares me and always has. I know you won't end up in jail or make the mistakes I did but you always want more for your kids. Listen babe I know I'm harsh once again to you because I guess I don't even try to understand you. And I should. I understand why you tried to help Erin. But marriage, love, it's more then protecting someone or trying to keep them away from an abusive family. It's more then that. I think it's beautiful how much you do care for her and I'm sorry you felt as if you couldn't really talk to me. I will really, really work on this. But the smoking you need to stop that fucking."

"I know. I know I do."

"Frankie look, I love you. You are beautiful, you are tough, you are strong and smart and talented. Impulsive yes which you definitely got from me but you are amazing. You are fun and you make me laugh and smile. And when I was healing from my stroke I relied on you alot."

"Me?"

"Yeah baby you. I relied on your kindness and your love for me and your optimism."

"I tried to be and I just wanted you to be ok."

"You were." The blonde said grabbing her daughters hand. "There is nothing wrong with the way you are love you just need to think more. Think more before you act, which is something I'm still learning. But it's not always an easy thing."

"You have to think before you act?"

"Oh many times. Or I'll do something stupid shit which Mama Lion tries to prevent me from doing."

"Yeah. I almost killed the guy at the other hotel. Erin tried to stop me but he was so damm rude and gross. I couldn't let him get away wit being like that to her."

"Oh boy do I understand. He almost died twice tonight. I almost killed him too." The blonde laughed as Frankie did as well. "Sweets I want the best for you. I want you to be you. But that does not include smoking or running of to marry no matter what the reason. We can help Erin. And um...do me a favor love."

"Yeah?"

"I know you have been sexually active for awhile but just think about it. Think about why, who, and if you are the kind of person who continues to just have sex with  no feelings attached. Maybe Erin is a different story. But sex is a important thing and it can be really special when it's with someone you love. Ok?"

"Yeah." Frankie said as Stef kissed her forehead.

"Alright. Lets see what we can do for Erin and you are grounded for 3 months. And that's light."

"It's fair. Definitely and I'm sorry."

"I know you are and I love you babe."

"I love you too mama."