A Chosen Life (Hard Time Series Book 4)

Separate Lives

As Frankie poured morning coffee into two mugs since Lena was coming over for breakfast to see her she also made some eggs along with bacon for Miss Rose as well. Truth was the young girl was looking forward to seeing Lena because for the past month she had been struggling. Struggling badly for she had not spoken to her mother since she threw her out along with everything she owned. Lena of course had visited her at least twice a week but it wasn't the same as seeing her everyday. Not at all.

In her mind maybe she had been out of line and disrespectful but she felt like she couldn't take one more minute of her mother barking orders at her, dictating the direction of her life and just blatantly bossing her around and dismissing her feelings. Any longer and she would loose her mind and she almost did that day she yelled back at her. Never in her life did she think she would ever stand up to her mother like that but she had and it did not go well. 

When she was a little girl Stef was her role model, her idol and she adored the woman more then anything. All she wanted was to be close to her and she longed for her to get out of jail.  Once Stef did Frankie was the happiest little girl there was and she loved the home her mother and Lena provided. When her relationship with the blonde changed she couldn't really put her finger on it but it was gradual and probably around the time she hit puberty. She noticed her mother watched her more, wasn't as carefree with her as the leash she kept her on kept getting shorter and shorter. Yes there were moment she saw the mother she use to know, the one that listened, gave her best advanced and wanted to honestly know what Frankie was thinking. That however had become sort of a distant memory at least when it came to her.

Maybe her choices for the past few months had not been the wisest but she had come clean with most of them. Sort of. However, she still had not admitted to having sex with Phil whom was a basketball player at her school and someone she wasn't even remotely attracted to. Why she did it she wasn't sure. Maybe to prove she wasn't gay?  That could be the only reason and she regretted it. She regretted it big time.  Nothing about it felt good or right and she wished she had listened to her moms about it. About waiting for the person you care about. But just like her mother she wasted it on someone who she didn't care about and neither did he. Infact Frankie had not even spoken to Phil after that night for she felt so gross, so out of touch with herself and so disgusted in what she and done. A few days later she broke it off with Erin not wanting to cause the girl pain. But she already had and the only person Frankie really wanted to go to was the one person she couldn't.

No one could blame Stef for all this or Lena for Frankie had a curious and rebellious streak. Just like the blonde. That was something Stef knew from early on and she had tried so hard to prevent the girl from making the same mistakes. But it was that extreme level of parenting that pushed Frankie away even more and to the point that Frankie didn't even want to deal with her anymore.

Living with Miss Rose for the past month had been far easier in some ways. Even if she was still on  punishment and was not allowed to see friends or go out or have visitors with the exception of her cousin Mariana, and her brothers and sisters. Under the woman's rules she had to continue to go to school, keep her grades up and go to church. Which she was doing and without any backtalk or questioning for Miss Rose ruled with a softer hand. Much like Lena.

Whether the separation was good for Stef and Frankie no one knew but it was safe to say the girl did miss her mother. Even if she would not admit it under any circumstances.  She also missed Lena, baby Stef and Noah. She missed the family dinners, get togethers, outings and movie nights. What she did not miss was how her mother was so harsh, so cold at times and so damm mean. That she could do without and she really felt like Miss Rose listened to her. Listened to every word and tried to see her point of view. That was something Stef was seriously lacking and would need to work on it very soon. 

FLASHBACK

"I do not mind you staying here baby, not at all but I do have rules myself. You must keep going to school, church and there is no hanging out. No smoking, no hanky panky, no back talking. Understand me? I will give you room to breath but that phone is mine is well. We have a deal? "

"Yes. I promise."

"No lying either because I can spot it a mile away. Me and Stuart both can."

"Oh boy can I ever. Lena use to tell some pretty creative ones." He said laughing as Frankie did as well.

"Did she? She doesn't seem like she would lie."

"Oh don't let her fool you. She had her moments. But she was a good kid. She was and work really hard in school."

"Not surprised she still does. She's really smart. Like Noah." The young teen said.

"Well so are you honey. Don't doubt yourself." Miss Rose said as the girl nodded her head. " And you stay as long as you need. Sometimes space is not a bad thing honey but eventually you and your mama need to talk.Peacefully."

"Yeah that's just it. She talks and I don't get to. She's the most frustrating, hypocritical person ever. All she cares about is telling me what to do and her adopted kids. It's whatever."

"Oh baby that is not true. She loves you, all of you. You were her first little girl and that is always something special. It really is and I know she's tough but that's because she cares and wants the best."

"My best is when I can be myself Nana but she won't let me."

"I know sweetheart and I think one day, hopefully very soon, your mama will start to really listen to what you have to say.  It's not easy seeing your baby growing up. Not by any means but she will adjust and learn to listen. Do you know why?"

"No."

"Because she loves you and wants to have a relationship with you. She just wants you to make better choices which we know you are capable of.  Right? Because these choices you have been making are not good ones honey. They just aren't."

"I know." Frankie said rather apologetically.

"Alright now you can continue to stay in the guest room and you know all the rules so there should be no confusion. Right?"

"Right."

"Alright now let's head on to bed. Church in the morning."

FLASHBACK ENDS

Frankie really adored Miss Rose more then anyone and she was grateful. Grateful that she was in her life which is why she felt so guilty about leaving home.  Mariana planned on joining her and was stealing money from Sean so that she could bring baby Jesus along. The plan was terrible but it was what they decided as soon as they could.

Hearing a knock at front door Frankie quickly ran to get it but when she saw who was with Lena her stomach dropped. It dropped big time for she was not prepared for this at all. She was not prepared to speak to Stef.

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I wonder how this will go.