it's you, it's always been you

chapter 13

Sam gripped her hands onto the counter by the sink.  Her and Deena were cleaning up the dishes from their breakfast as she felt herself get dizzy all of a sudden.

She knew exactly why she started feeling dizzy out of nowhere.

Her medications were at her parents house and after what happened with Caleb the day before, she couldn't bring herself to go over there.

Sam kept this from Deena. She was behind by four doses of her medications now, she took them twice a day.

The medicine made her feel even more weak and exhausted than she already felt.

Now that she hasn't had the medicine in awhile, she felt herself more present with Deena, and not as groggy and weak the medicine made her as a side effect.

She hoped now that the nose bleeds would stop. The last time she got one, she was on Deena's lap and it killed the mood instantly.

Sam braced herself for a moment then regained her composure. Josh had made his way to his computer which left her and Deena in the kitchen.

That day they spent together, Sam confessing her feelings and then she straddled Deena's lap on her bed, and repeated Deena's name as Deena took care of Sam in a way she never did before.

That day ran through Sam's mind as she moved to  tuck Deena's hair away from her neck, then wrapped her arms around Deena's waist.

Deena smiled back towards Sam and leaned back into her.

Sam brought her lips to the skin on Deena's neck slowly kissing up the bottom of her neck at her collarbone and trailed her lips along Deena's skin, peppering her with kisses as she made way up to Deena's jaw.

Sam kissed then sucked a spot on Deena's neck that made Deena release a moan and lean back into Sam even more. Sam gently but then kissed the spot again, leaving a small hickey on Deena's skin, Sam feeling accomplished when she saw the mark when she pulled back from Deena.

Deena turned to face Sam, feelings of lust and passion started to take over her as she grabbed onto the back of Sam's neck and brought her body up against her again, kissing her softly at first then deepening the kiss as Sam reciprocated the kiss.

Sam could feel herself starting to get dizzy again, a pain in her stomach along with the feeling. But she fought it off, wanting to stay with close with Deena as long as she could.

Sam strengthened her grip on Deena's waist, bracing herself as she grew more dizzy and weak, but she was determined to not let her sickness kill the mood again, she wanted to take care of Deena the way she did with Sam.

Sam broke the kiss, feeling her eyes go heavy. She felt like she was running out of air and her heart beat faster in her chest, feeling like it was going to explode.

And it wasn't because of what she was trying to do with Deena. She knew why her body was reacting this way, and it was from the medication she hadn't took.

Sam held onto Deena's arms as she brought herself down to her knees. She felt so guilty and ashamed that her illness interrupted them once again.

The moment Sam broke the kiss and held onto her tighter, Deena knew something was happening to Sam.

"Sam? Are you okay? What's happening?" She was completely filled with worry as she watched Sam crumble to the floor of her kitchen.

Deena brought herself to her knees also, wrapping her arms around Sam as she watched in horror at Sam not responding to her again and then fainting into her arms.

"Josh! Josh!" Deena screamed as loud as she could. Her arms holding onto Sam so tight, her heart breaking as she tried to wake Sam but nothing worked.

Josh came running up the stairs, his jaw dropping at the sight of Deena holding Sam on the floor. "Call an ambulance!" Deena yelled as soon as she saw Josh.

"It's okay Sam, you'll be okay. You'll be okay," Deena repeated, trying to convince herself also that Sam would be okay.

Deena kept her eyes on Sam, she brought a hand to her face to tuck hair behind her ears. She wanted so desperately for Sam to wake up right then, but nothing she did woke Sam.

"They're on their way!" Josh yelled as he hung up the phone and came back to the kitchen.

Deena looked up at him when he came in, "Sam's shoes! They are in my room, go get them. Please.." Deena's voice broke as she spoke, trying to take care of Sam even when she wasn't conscious. Josh ran back with them and Deena watched as he put them on Sam's limp feet for her.

"Deena.." Josh said when he saw the blood start to run down from Sam's mouth. Deena followed Josh's gaze when he spoke her name.

She felt her heart stop and felt sick to her stomach at the blood falling from Sam's mouth. Josh handed her a towel right away, as they could hear the sirens coming down the street.

Deena frantically wiped the blood off Sam's face. Blood slowly dripped out of Sam's mouth replacing the blood before that Deena wiped off.

Josh led the EMTs to the kitchen, and put the stretcher next to Sam. Deena reluctantly let go of Sam so they could put her on the stretcher. "Sh-She fainted. She was okay then she fainted and blood came out of her mouth. She has.. has cancer. She was just in the hospital for a few days for it. She's Sam, Samantha Fraser." Deena told them, trying to keep herself together.

The sight terrified Deena, she felt useless as she followed them out the door, Deena went to go in the ambulance with Sam but one of medics stopped her and said that only immediate family could ride with her, which infuriated Deena and she was about to scream at the guy until Josh held onto her arm. "Follow us," the other medic offered, feeling sorry for them.

Deena grabbed her keys and ran to her car, Josh following right behind her. She stayed right behind the ambulance, attempting to see Sam through the small windows. She could see the medic moving around with wires and an IV. 

This is the most terrified Deena has ever been, even more than when her mom was about to pass away.

She had cancer also, breast cancer that took her away only a few months after they found out. Deena tried not to think of it, how the same thing could happen to Sam now.

Hot tears stained Deena's face as they fell down her cheeks. She didn't care enough to wipe them away, just focused on the road and the van in front of them.

Josh watched Deena as she broke down, completely unsure how to help her or talk to her in this situation. He had no idea about Sam being sick, but it took his mind back to their mom as well. He cared about Sam, of course, Sam was always over at their house over the years.

But he also knew that losing Sam would completely destroy Deena and for that, he was as terrified as Deena was. He brought his hand to Deena's shoulder, glancing at her for a moment.

They ran inside after they parked and caught up to see the doctors take Sam into the emergency room. She tried to get passed the doors to follow Sam, but multiple nurses stopped her.

Josh sat at the waiting room as Deena paced back in forth, her hands on top of her head, replaying the morning over in her head. Had Sam been getting sick and weak and she didn't even notice?

That thought brought tears back to her eyes, she sat down next to Josh as she leaned forward and covered her face with her hands. Josh laid a hand on Deena's back, looking down at the floor as they waited there.

People were coming and going from the hospital and all Deena could do was wait, and it killed her. She wanted to scream at all the doctors and run to the room Sam was in.

Josh returned from the phone, he had called Kate and Simon, they both stopped what they were doing and headed to the hospital.