it's you, it's always been you

chapter 30

It was Deena's first day back at school in almost two weeks. She spent the morning with Sam, making sure she ate something and was okay enough for Deena to leave.

Kate and Simon both waited at Deena's locker and wrapped their arms around her the second she was near. They tried not to talk about Sam at school, but their classmates found out about Sam's cancer from Sam's mom.

She didn't visit Sam, she didn't call or ask about her. She didn't send a card or flowers, she did nothing at all for Sam. But she went in front of her church and told them to pray for her and Sam as Sam's cancer got worse.

She was using Sam's cancer as a crutch. She was using it for attention and sympathy. She even took donations from people in the church and in town for Sam, but Sam didn't know about it or saw any of the money.

Deena had almost all her classes with Sam, so as she sat in her classes, she looked over at the empty desk beside her, and Sam's absence grew heavy on her.

It made her want to run out of class and to the hospital. She had just been with Sam a couple hours before but she already missed her with her entire heart.

She walked to Sam's locker. It was covered with flowers, get well cards, and little notes for Sam. Deena tore off a few of them to take to Sam after school.

Other students stopped Deena or Kate or Simon to ask about Sam, Kate and Simon would tell them how she was doing but Deena couldn't bring herself to, she saw Sam in her weakest moments. Deena would just walk away, not being able to get a word out of her mouth.

That was until she was stopped at the bathroom sink by Olivia.

Deena was wrapped up in her thoughts before she noticed Olivia facing her at the sink next to her. Deena dried her hands then looked up to see Olivia facing her.

"I know you hate me, but how is Sam?" Olivia nervously bit her lip as she looked at Deena.

"I'm not talking about Sam, to you. You don't deserve to know." Deena bumped Olivia's shoulder as she made her way past her, anger started to engulf her the moment Olivia said Sam's name.

"I still love her and I deserve to know, it's not up to you." Olivia said as Deena walked towards the door.

Deena whipped around to face Olivia when she used the word love. "Don't even fucking start with me. You don't know Sam! You don't fucking know how much pain she is in right now at this very moment. You don't know how terrified she is. You don't know how strong she is and how beautiful she is. She's the only good thing on this fucking earth and you don't deserve anything." Deena let out all the anger she had pent up inside her.

Deena took a step closer. She could have easily just turned and walked past Olivia without even looking at her. But there was so much anger built up whenever she saw Olivia, she let it out without thinking. "Don't fucking go near her, don't say her name again."

Deena had enough of school at that point and left to drive to the hospital to see Sam. She forced herself to calm down on the drive, she wouldn't bring up the talk she had with Olivia in the bathroom. It would make Sam feel worse and that's the last thing she wanted.

When Deena was turning to enter Sam's room, she instantly felt anger at the sight of Sam's mom taking a picture with a very exhausted looking Sam as she laid in bed.

"That's great! That's for the cover page! Thanks, kid." The reporter said after he took the photo as Sam and her mom posed in front of him for. "Feel better, my thoughts are with you." The reporter add to Sam before he left.

It was just now Sam and her mom and Deena in the room. Sam's eyes shot to Deena as soon as she saw her. Sam looked so nervous and scared as she looked at Deena.

Her mom showed up out of nowhere and forced Sam to put make up on as she told her that they were making the front page of the newspaper thanks to her moms connections at church.

Sam tried to fight it, she even brought up what she saw with her mom and Caleb's dad, but her mom called her a liar and said she's spending too much time with her dad and her mom said that was going to change.

"You need to get out. Now." Deena said, with all seriousness in her voice. She walked into the room, making sure to stand in between Sam and her mom. Sam's mom was too busy rearranging the flowers and gifts Sam had gotten.

Sam's mom took the biggest vase of flowers in her hands, "see you later, darling." Sam's mom said, completely ignoring Deena and sent an air kiss towards Sam.

Deena followed Sam's mom out the door, making sure to close it after she left.

"I have no idea what just happened. She came in when I was getting medicine and then put make up on me and then took a picture." Sam shook her head in disbelief as Deena walked back to the side of Sam's bed.

"She's unbelievable. Just using you for attention. I'm sorry, Sam." Deena sat on the edge of Sam's bed, and held one of Sam's hands.

"I'm just glad she left without a fight. Enough of her," Sam brought Deena's hand up to her face and kissed the back of it, a gesture Deena was starting to love getting almost everyday.

"How was school?" Sam asked, laying back in her bed more, he head hitting the pillow.

"It was fine, it was so slow and it was awful without you. I realized how much fun I even thought school was just because we had so many classes together. Also your locker is decorated. I brought some of the cards with me." Deena said, then getting up to getting the cards to show Sam.

Sam smiled as she looked at the cards, tears in her eyes as she did. She didn't think anyone would even notice she wasn't at school, besides Kate, Simon, Josh and Deena of course.