it's you, it's always been you

chapter 118

Deena quickly brought her hand to her cheek to wipe away the tears that started to fall. She didn't want them to hit the paper and ruin the ink so Sam could read it later on.

Her heart felt full of warmth in the moment. She missed her mom so badly and she felt like her mom was with her in that moment once she read the letter.

Her mom knew even years ago that these are the words she needed to hear to believe and have hope for Sam as she was getting bad again.

She was also happy that her mom wrote this letter because she knew that it would make Sam feel better also. She desperately wished she could go to Sam's side and read the letter to her and maybe Sam would be able to hear her somehow.

Deena kept thinking of sentence her mom wrote in the letter, "You and Deena will know soon the type of family you are." It made Deena smile, because the sentence felt like her mom knew that Deena wanted to have a family with Sam.

Even though it was close to five am, Deena dialed Sam's hospital room.

"Hello?" It was Sam's doctor, the one that Deena talked to before.

"It's Deena. How is Sam?"

"Hello Deena. Sam is stable. Her temperate has stayed the same for a few hours which is good for that it did not go higher."

"What's going to happen to her? Please don't lie or sugar coat it. I need to know."

The doctor sighed, "it's difficult to know for certain what will happen. Her oxygen levels are slightly low but not low enough to be concerned. Her body needs to build the immunity and increase her white blood count. That can take awhile. It's completely up to Sam's body. We are giving her everything we can to boost her immune system and create white blood cell growth. I'm sorry, Deena. There is not a measure of time for when the fever could break but it needs to soon."

Deena thought for a moment before she replied, the news of what could happen sunk in for her.

"Is she still wearing her necklace? Did someone take it off?"

There was a pause before the doctor replied as she went to look. "Yes, she is still wearing a necklace that is gold with the letter D, on it."

Deena closed her eyes and remembered when Sam first showed her the necklace at her locker weeks ago. She loved the necklace as much as she loved the ring Sam gave her that she was still wearing.

"Thank you. If anything changes, could you please call? I'm on her emergency contact list. I'll be calling also but if anything suddenly happens, please. I need to know right away." Deena pleaded with the doctor, she couldn't help but fear for the worst.

"Yes, I will and I'll write it in the chart for when I'm not here. Her body is strong, Deena. She's been through worse and survived. All we can do is be patient."

"Thank you."

"Talk soon, Deena." Then the doctor hung up.

Deena couldn't fall asleep, the doctors words replying in her head. She listened to her Dads advice and went to school.

She didn't notice until Simon pointed it out at lunch that Deena was getting more attention as people were looking at her and talking.

"They can fuck off just like Taylor for all I care." Deena groaned and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Do you want to hang out tonight? We can stay at your place so you can be near the phone if someone calls and when you call." Kate asked. Deena's been on edge lately even before the fight with Taylor and she was concerned for her friend.

"Yeah, that would be great." Deena offered Kate a small smile. She welcomed the distraction of hanging with them, but also being home to call Sam's hospital room.

Deena called Sam's hospital room the moment she came home from school, but there was no answer so she waited another hour to call again and finally someone answered.

"Hello?" The doctor Deena talked to earlier this morning answered.

"This is Deena. How is Sam?"

"She's doing better. Her temperature went down another degree. It's good news, Deena. She's getting stronger. It might be a few days till she wakes up. I have to go, I'll talk soon." The doctor hung up.

Deena felt her shoulders relax when the doctor said Sam was getting stronger and the temperature went down.

When Simon and Kate came over, they watched a movie and even Josh joined them. She felt some comfort being around them and listening to them laugh.

But she felt the void of Sam not being with them. Deena thought about how Sam would love the movie they were watching and which parts Sam would laugh at.

She missed Sam's laugh so much it made her heart ache. She put her hand on the spot next to her on the couch. She was in her usual spot on the couch when they all hung out together and Sam would be sitting right next to her.

Kate looked back at Deena as Deena was fidgeting with her ring on her finger that Sam gave her. She sat next to Deena.

"You know, I love you and Sam. I miss her so much too. Even though so much has happened, it's been amazing to see how happy you are when you're with her. How different you are now that you guys are dating. And how different she is. It's beautiful, D. The love you guys have. Makes me sick and jealous at the same time. But you deserve it more than anyone." Kate wrapped her arm around Deena's shoulders as she spoke.

Deena smiled to Kate, her words bringing tears to her eyes and she leaned in and hugged her. "Thank you, Kate. For everything. I love you too."

"What the fuck?" Simon said as he stood and faced them. "Where was my invite?" He then jumped and wrapped his arms around the two girls as they all laughed loudly.