it's you, it's always been you

chapter 83

As soon as they got back to Deena's house, each of them called admissions at NYU and accepted their offers to go to NYU next year for college.

Sam felt like a huge weight was off her shoulders. She got into NYU and it was the first step to spending her life together with Deena.

She had spent most of the last year in the hospital and in doctors offices. So she was interested in majoring in pre-med and exploring the careers she could have.

And there was a part of her that wanted to research her own cancer and try to find a way for her to be cancer free as long as she can be so she can spend all her life with Deena.

Deena's major was undecided so far, but she was mostly excited to be able to continue going to school with Sam and not be separated.

Sam was waiting at her locker for Deena, she was finishing a homework assignment for her physics class as she waited.

Sam was nervous to ask Deena something. In two of the classes that she didn't have with Deena,  her friends from the cheer team, Sophie and Taylor, wanted to take Sam to this party tonight.

She used to hang out with them whenever she wasn't with Deena. Especially when they had cheer events. Every Friday after the football game she would go with them to parties and she hasn't really hung out with them except for a bit at the one party Deena dragged her out of.

Which Sophie and Taylor asked Sam if it could just be Sam and not Deena. She felt guilty for pushing both of them away for the last few months. And they brought it up to her and said that Sam owed them.

So after asking multiple times and trying to convince Sam, she gave in and said yes and told them to pick her up at Deena's house. But if Deena didn't want Sam to go then she wouldn't want to go.

"Hey," Deena met Sam at her locker. Sam was so focused on how she was going to talk to Deena, that she jumped when she heard Deena.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

With only one look at Sam, Deena knew something was up.

Sam sighed and then put her books in her bag and lifted it over her shoulder.

"I mean there's nothing wrong. Just Sophie and Taylor have been bugging me all day about this party and asking me nonstop to go with them." Sam took Deena's hand as she spoke.

"Oh," Deena's eyebrows furrowed as she realized that they were asking Sam to go with them and not bring her.

"They guilted me into it since I haven't done anything with them for months except at that last party. But I totally don't have to go if you don't want me too."

Deena was concerned the moment Sam brought up the party. Last time the party didn't turn out so good and she was nervous how it would be for Sam with her there. Mostly because of the other guys that would be there.

"No, it's okay. I don't control you, Sam. I get that they are asking to just hang with you. And you guys used to before the cancer. And before we dated....it's okay really. Just come back to my house as soon as it's over okay?" Deena said as she interlocked their fingers and led them to her car in the parking lot.

As Deena got in the car, she thought more about how that guy gave Sam a drink and she took it right away. 

"I know you don't control me or try to. I just don't want to do anything you don't want me to. I mean I've been to this house for the party before, it's at Josh's house, and it's nothing special. Nothing will happen and I will limit my drinks I know you don't like that." Sam tried to reassure Deena on their way to Deena's house.

Deena didn't reply yet and drove in silence back to her house. She was concerned and scared for what might happen but she couldn't control Sam and she didn't want to tell Sam how worried she was because she knew Sam wouldn't go because for her.

"Deena?" Sam spoke once they got to the house, the silence from Deena made her nervous like Deena was angry.

"It's okay Sam, really. I mean I can't just expect to keep you to myself all the time. I know that we've been together all the time since cancer and then you staying with me. And I've gotten so used to it. I know I have to share you sometimes. You have other friends and thats okay. It's okay, Sam. I'm not angry or upset. I'll just miss you."

Sam smiled, "I'll miss you too and think about you the whole time. I love you." She leaned in and kissed Deena.

"I love you too, so much. You just have to be very careful, Sam. Please, for me."

"Of course, Deena. Always for you."

Sam kissed Deena again. And Deena couldn't shake the worries she had that something might happen at the party.