it's you, it's always been you

chapter 20

Kate and Simon joined Deena as they searched. They tried to keep Deena calm, but as they kept looking, they started to get as worried as her.

The hospital was five floors, it had to be larger as it was for both Shadyside and Sunnyvale.

Deena went back to the pay phone and called her house, she figured at least Josh would be home and could come and help also. But there was no answer at her house when she called.

The distance between Sam's and Deena's seemed to be much longer as Sam could only walk, not run.

They were on opposite sides of town, and it took Sam over a half hour to run there the other night.

Sam flinched as she heard a car beep next to her on the street. She turned to see Olivia in the car, with the window going down.

"Sam? What are you doing? It's freezing and super late. Do you need a ride?" Olivia asked, leaning over to the passengers side from the drivers seat to talk to Sam.

Sam bit at her bottom lip as she weighed her options.

She was cold and hungry and if she took the ride then she wouldn't have to hide as she walked. But she hasn't spoke to Olivia in months besides when she helped Sam when Sam had a nose bleed.

"Y-Yes, thank you." Sam got in the car, which made her feel so much more warm with Olivia turning the heat on for Sam.

"Where to? Your house?" Olivia asked as she was still facing Sam.

Sam felt awkward in the car, she was nervous to be in such a enclosed space and alone with Olivia. Not that she thought Olivia would do something to her, but because of what happened between them and then Sam not speaking to her for months after everything happened.

"No, to Deena's house, take a right up here and then a left on Fier Street," Sam felt guilty when she brought Deena's name up with Olivia.

Olivia followed Sam's instructions and they sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Sam, I heard what happened at homecoming.." Olivia spoke, too quietly at first as Sam could barely hear her.

"I'm so sorry, you never deserved that. I'm really sorry Sam.."

Sam looked at her feet on the floor, and thought about that night again. She squeezed her eyes shut when Olivia said sorry.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry I shouldn't have I wasn't thinking. This is just the first time I've gotten to talk to you in so long." Olivia glanced over at Sam, scared that she upset her.

"It's okay, I'm okay, really. Thank you for saying that. Wait, this is her house." Sam opened her eyes as she watched Olivia pull into Deena's driveway.

Olivia felt the urge to hug Sam, she looked like she's been through hell.

"Thank you, Liv." Sam let out her nickname for Olivia without thinking. "You didn't have to, so thanks."

"Anytime, Sammy."

Sam didn't look back as she walked up to Deena's house. She despised that nickname.

She rang the doorbell to Deena's front door. She knew  that they always told her to just come in, but she didn't want to interrupt them if they had something going on.

Josh answered the door with a piece of pizza in his mouth. "Woah, Sam, hey!"

The pizza in his mouth made Sam laugh as she walked inside. "Is Deena here?"

"No, I thought she was with you at the hospital?" Josh asked, looking Sam over like he couldn't believe she was there and walking after what happened.

"Oh, no I got out, everything's fine with me. It was just because I forgot to take my medication for a few days, but I'm fine really, I'm okay....I'll wait in her room." Sam gave Josh a weak smile, trying to hide the fact she was lying and doing terrible at it.

"Sam wait," Josh said as he grabbed a slice of pizza from the box and handed it to Sam.

"You look like you haven't ate or slept in days, sorry, but here." Josh shrugged as Sam took it.

"Thank you for the pizza, and you're probably right about how I look." Sam smiled at him before heading to Deena's room. She ate the pizza and turned on Deena's radio, and brought it closer to Deena's window.

Sam finished the pizza and climbed onto the roof, sitting in the exact same spot her and Deena always sat on. She looked up at the stars and then the moon and hoped Deena would come home soon.

Deena, Kate and Simon made it down to the first floor at the lobby, Sam's dad and a few nurses also made it down.

"She's not here," Sam's dad said, his hands on his head, trying to calm down.

Kate and Simon looked at each other and then Deena, confused on why Sam's dad was talking to them, or even talking at all. They've seen him before but he's never said a word to them before.

Deena fell to her knees, her hands on her face. "She out there, she has cancer and she faints and her nose bleeds and she gets dizzy and people could hurt her. She's out there and I can't help her, I can't protect her," Deena cried out, feeling exhausted and lost and broken at the same time.

Kate and Simon out their hands on her shoulders, but no one spoke, they didn't know what to say to her.

The doctors told Sam's dad that the police were on their way to search for Sam outside the hospital.

The four made it up to Sam's room, not sure what to do at this point but wait at the place where Sam was supposed to be. Hoping that she would just walk in at any moment.

"Excuse me, are any of you named Deena Johnson?" A nurse came to the doorway and asked.

Deena's head shot up, "yes, that's me."

"Your brothers on the phone, he said someone called him from here."

"Yeah I did, I'll talk to him." Deena followed the nurse and answered the phone.

"Hey, I just called before because Sam is missing and I wanted you to come help," Deena started and then Josh cut her off.

"Sam's not missing. She's in your room, she said she got out of the hospital?"