it's you, it's always been you

chapter 134

Deena paced around her room. She had the phone right next to her and was sick to her stomach with worry now that it was 9:55pm and Sam didn't come home or call Deena.

"Did she call?" Kate asked as she opened the door without knocking which Deena hates but couldn't care less about anything besides Sam in the moment.

"No. Nothing. I called her moms house and they changed the number. I just have to wait for Sam to call to get the new one." Deena looked at her watch again.

"Fuck it. Let's go to her moms house and see what's going on. If she starts shit I'll get Sam's dad." Deena said.

"Wait, what if Sam's in her room. Should we bring the ladder like that one time?" Simon asked. "Your dad still has it right?"

"It's in the garage. Might as well, I have no idea what battle we are walking into with Sam's mom." Deena led them to get the ladder and then put it in her car. They had to have the ladder stick out the window to make it fit.

"What if she's still at the hospital?" Simon asked from the back seat with the ladder on him.

"Visiting hours are over with and I know Sam wouldn't stay the night there. If she did then she would've called me by now. That means she's at her moms house most likely." Deena drove fast like she didn't when Sam's dad called her about Sam not answering the door. She was lucky that Shadyside police officers had a lot of other problems to take care of them her speeding.

Deena slowly drove by Sam's mom's house. She could tell by looking at the front if Sam's bedroom light was on, but the house was lit up in the windows she could see, and all the curtains were closed so Deena couldn't see inside.

"We have to go around back with the ladder like last time." Deena spoke and parked further down the street so she could hide her car if Sam's mom looked out the window.

Simon and Deena carried the ladder as Kate led them around the back and looked out for any movement inside.

Once they were in the back, Deena sighed with relief to see that Sam's window was open and the light was on.

"She's there. Help me with the ladder." Deena whispered. Kate and Simon both held onto the bottom of the ladder as Deena climbed to the top.

Deena slowly looked inside the room and saw Sam on her bed with her knees to her chest and face in her hands. Deena waited a moment to make sure her mom wasn't in the room also.

"She's here," she whispered loudly back to Kate and Simon. And Simon gave her a thumbs up.

Deena knocked on the window, quiet at first and Sam couldn't hear it then louder. She waved as soon as Sam looked up to the window.

The pained look on Sam's face as she looked to Deena made Deena's heart ache. She knew something bad most have happened.

She watched Sam carefully move to her door and looked like she locked it then came to the window and slowly opened it.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Deena whispered.

"Deena you can't be here. It will only make it worse for you. You need to go." Sam was scared that Sam's mom was listening in to her room and could hear her talk to Deena.

"What? Make what worse for me?"

"It's not working." Sam looked away from Deena as she spoke.

"Sam, what are you talking about?"

"You need to go. It will be bad for you and Josh if she sees you."

"For Josh? What will be bad? Sam you're scaring me. What's going on? What did your mom do?"

"Can I please come in?" Deena asked.

"No. It's easier to say it here." Sam said. She knew there was only one option to keep Deena's family together in their home and not broke.

"What are you saying? Sam you're scaring me so much. Please, talk to me."

Sam's chest ached as she heard the pained tone in Deena's voice.

"I think we should break up. It's not good for either of us. I'm putting you at risk. You need to stay away from me." Sam turned her cheek as she felt a tear escape her eyes.

Deena was speechless by Sam's words. They were so good earlier today and have been for awhile. She couldn't believe that Sam was saying this.

"No Sam. I'm not going anywhere. You're not putting me at risk. We aren't breaking up. Don't do this. What did you mom do to you?" Sam saying the words "break up" immediately made Deena's body go weak and she felt pain everywhere all over her body.

"Nothing. She did nothing. You heard me." Sam said coldly. She wanted to make Deena hate her so Deena stayed away from her and believe their break up so Sam could keep Deena safe. "We are done. You have to leave. Now. Don't talk to me at school or try to call. It will be worse for you. It's over between us. I don't want to be with you anymore."

Deena got dizzy and her body shook like she could faint while Sam spoke. The words left Sam's lips with anger and harshness that Deena's never seen from Sam. Her heart was breaking at how cold Sam was and wouldn't look at her.

"Sam please. No don't do this. We aren't done. We have a future together Sam. A long and happy future together. It's you and me always. Please Sam. Don't so this. Don't do what your mom wants. Don't listen to her. I love you and I know you love me. I know it. Please, Sam. I need you. I need you so badly. You can't leave like this. I know this isn't you." Deena didn't notice the tears that fell from her eyes until she felt them fall onto her hands.

Sam turned away from Deena. The words Deena spoke and the pain behind them that Sam caused, broke her heart and made her own tears fall from her eyes. But she couldn't show Deena that or else she would fight with Sam. And Sam needed to protect Deena's dad's job. So she could protect Deena and Josh.

"Goodbye, Deena." Sam wiped her face quickly and turned and closed her window, locking it and pulling the curtains shut.