it's you, it's always been you

chapter 96

Just as Deena worried about Sam's father walking in on them, they hear a car door slam shut.

Sam nearly falls on the floor as she gets off Deena's lap quickly. She doesn't want any reason for her dad to not allow Deena to come over.

Sam reached over to Deena to smooth out her hair in the back. "You were right," she said as she smiled and shook her head.

"Unfortunately," Deena groaned, not liking the interruption after suffering without Sam all day.

When the door opened, both Sam and Deena's jaws dropped. It was Sam's dad and her mom.

"What the fuck?" Sam said as she stood up.

"Samantha!" Sam's mom yelled at Sam for cussing.

Deena went right to Sam's side, she was instantly furious the moment she saw Sam's mom. And she was so stunned her dad would let her mom be here. And near Sam. 

"Joan, please. Just let me talk to her," Sam's dad spoke and stood between her mom and Sam.

"We just need to have a conversation, the three of us. It's long overdue. Deena, I'm sorry, but it's better if you go. I'll protect Sam, don't worry. It just has to be us." Sam's dad said looking between Sam and Deena.

"No," Sam said, "I'm not staying for this. I'm not staying in the same building as her."

"Sam, please. I'll be right next to you, between you both. There are things she needs to say to you. Please Sam."

Sam clenched her jaw and looked back at Deena.

"It's okay, call me as soon as you can, okay?" Deena asked, she trusted Sam's dad and didn't want to push him.

"I will," Sam sighed. Deena went in to kiss Sam's cheek, not wanting to kiss in front of both Sam's parents. But Sam grabbed her face and kissed Deena deeply until Deena pulled away. She squeezed Sam's hand then left out the door, she kept her head down as she did, not wanting to see Sam's mom's face.

As Deena got in her car and started driving home, she worried what could happen and that it would upset Sam. And she knew Sam didn't need that right now on top of being weak.

Sam followed her dad and sat at the dinning room table with her parents, choosing the seat farthest away from her mom.

"Thank you, Sam." Sam's dad started, "now I have been speaking to your mom since you've been out of the hospital. About how she treated you and how I treated you. She's told me she is sorry and has things to say to you."

Sam fought the urge to get up and run out of the house the moment she heard her dad say the word "sorry."

Sam crossed her arms, she didn't believe her mom felt remorseful for one second.

"Samantha, your father has told me how wrong I was raising you. I was making you into your best self. You were your best self before you got cancer. It's not your fault. But your father told me about how you are in therapy and that you are sick again and need to stay out of school. I know I should have visited you more in the hospital."

Sam was growing more angry by the second. She felt disappointed in her dad to tell her mom about the therapy. Deena and her dad were the only ones that knew and all that Sam wanted to know.

"I'm sorry for that. I am sorry that," Sam's mom started but was interrupted by Sam.

"You aren't sorry. You didn't suddenly realize how cruel of a human being you are."

Sam turned to look at her dad, "You know she threw out my NYU acceptance letter that I was waiting weeks for?! She tore it up and lied to me every time I asked about it. She was dating Caleb's dad before I got in the hospital. She is started dating him again after his son shot me. How can you be sorry when you do things like that?" Sam couldn't stand it any longer to listen to her mom, let alone be in the same room as her.

Sam stood and walked out of the room, her dad standing and following as she did. He was worried she was going to run away again like she did before.

"Sam, don't leave. You're sick again, you need to stay here. Your mom is sorry. She told me and promised me she will be better. She just wants in your life again." Sam's dad grabbed Sam's arm but she took it back right away.

"No she doesn't." Sam looked around her dad, to her mom. "Hey mom how does it feel to have a big, fat  d*ky for a daughter? You heard me. Your daughters a lesbian! Remember all that shit and hate you always said to me about being gay? Are you sorry about that?"

"Samantha, do not call herself that. You are not one. That's why I'm here, I need to help you. You need help, Samantha."

"Joan, stop with that shit. She doesn't need help, don't say that." Sam's dad turned to scorn her mom.

As he did, Sam turned around and headed right out the front door. As she got down the drive way, her dad started yelling for her but she kept walking.

She mostly knew the way to Deena's house, but it was so much farther away than it was from her moms house.

Sam's dad kept yelling for her but it only made her walk faster.

As she walked, she wished she ate the cheeseburgers Deena brought. She was getting light headed already, but kept walking towards Deena's house.

She knew that Taylor lived nearby, she used to go over to her house after cheer practice with Sophie. She hated to ask Taylor for help. She did just slap her in front of their grade.

She sat on the ground to take a break for a moment. She never hated her mom more than she did right then. Sam buried her face in her hands as she took deep breaths.

"Sam?"

Sam looked up to see Taylor standing on the sidewalk with her bike next to her.

"What's happened? Are you okay?"

Sam groaned as she stood, she almost fell as she stood. She was getting dizzy after sitting, and Taylor took her hand and caught her.

"You're not okay. I live right there, let me help you." Taylor wrapped her arm around Sam's shoulders and dropped her bike on the ground.

Sam didn't fight it, she did need to eat something and lay down for a moment. She let Taylor guide her to her house, leaning on her when she got dizzy again.

"This is mine, we are here." Taylor led Sam inside and sat her on the couch.

Sam didn't speak as she laid down on the couch, she was grateful it wasn't the sidewalk at least.

"Sam, are you okay?" Taylor returned with a class of water for Sam.

"Yeah, I," Sam sighed and took a drink of water. "Thank you. It's a long story but I needed to get away from my dads house and was heading to Deena's. But I haven't ate all day and my blood count is low so it's making me like this."

"That's why you haven't been at school. I'm going to get you something to eat real quick, stay laying down."

Sam took a long drink before laying back down. She couldn't fight the exhaustion that made her eyelids heavy and gave in and started to fall asleep.