it's you, it's always been you

chapter 114

"Oh no....that actually happened? Fuck. What all did she say that I said?" Sam sighed. She was embarrassed that she was telling strangers that she wanted to marry her girlfriend. She was worried that she might have made some of them uncomfortable.

"That you love me a lot, you wanted to marry me and something about a blue house. That's what she said. It's so cute, Sam. You were out of it and you kept talking about me and about marrying me. It's adorable. I'm glad she told me."

"I'm happy you liked it but I'm going to be awkward around her unless I say sorry for being weird..what will you do when you see Taylor again?" Sam was concerned what could happen without her there to stop it.

"I don't know. When you first told me it was her, I wanted to honestly fight her, and I still do, even more now after we found out that Taylor paid Riley. But I don't want to jeopardize going to NYU. Taylor needs to know that she can't fuck with you and us anymore." Deena felt herself starting to get angry as she thought about seeing Taylor again.

"Deena, she did fucked up shit to us. I know you're mad because it hurt me, but I don't want you to get in trouble. I don't want you to get hurt. Going to NYU with you is much more worth it than when I slapped Taylor. It's not worth risking. Please don't do something for my sake."

"But you slapped her because she called me a slur."

"Yeah and I was not thinking at the time. She shouldn't have called you one and I would yell at her again, but I shouldn't have slapped her. I should have screamed at her and stood up for you but not slap her. If you slapped her then, you would get in so much worse trouble than I did."

Sam was right, she would get punished worse than Sam because Sam was white and so was Taylor. But Deena is mixed and even in Shadyside, racism exists. If Deena slapped Taylor instead, she would have at least got suspended for a week.

"Yeah, you're right. She can't get away with this. She needs to know she can't fuck with people's lives. Especially yours." Deena tried to calm down and stop thinking about Taylor as she spoke to Sam.

"Please don't do anything that could risk NYU. And please don't get hurt. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you because you stood up for us and me." Sam knew Deena couldn't stay silent and let Taylor get away with hurting her. But she couldn't let Deena get physical and ruin her chance for NYU.

"I'm going to try my best to hold back. How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. My doctor was just in and said my fever went down. I ask them everyday if I can leave and she's said no everyday so far. But like always, she said to give the treatments and medicine time and rest." Sam yawned, even though she just woke up not too long ago, she was still tired.

"That's great that your fever went down. You're yawning, are you tired? We can talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah. But are you going to school tomorrow? I think you should. We are almost done with the year."

"Will you call me before school then if I go?"

"Yes I'll call you. I love you, Deena. Goodnight. I'll be dreaming of you."

Deena smiled the whole time she was on the phone with Sam. "I love you too. Goodnight, Sam. I'll miss you."

Sam hung up and moved to her bed. She put her face in the sweater she was wearing and closed her eyes. Dreaming of Deena holding her as she fell asleep.

Deena took a deep breath before she got out of her car in the school parking lot. She felt better after talking to Sam this morning and that they were still doing good. Taylor tried to break them up but it only made them stronger.

She went straight to Kate's locker when she made it inside.

"I'm glad you're back, Deena. I wouldn't take on Taylor myself without you at least being there to watch. How's Sam?" Kate glanced at Deena then back at the mirror in the locker.

"She's better. Her fever went down some. But she's tired all the time and falls asleep all the time. I got only a half hour with her yesterday and then she called this morning to make sure I was calm before coming to school." Deena scanned down the hallway, looking for Taylor.

"That's good that her fever went down. I'm happy you guys are still good. What are you going to do to Taylor?"

"I don't know. I'm trying to keep myself together. I don't want anything to jeopardize going to NYU with Sam. But she can't just think she can mess with Sam and I and hurt Sam like that. I don't know what to do. Sam told me not to risk NYU. So I'm not doing anything yet."

"Well let me know what you want to do and I'm in. She can't do that to you and Sam. Who knows if that pregnancy thing even worked. I'll see you at lunch."

Deena nodded before Kate walked the other direction. Just as she was turning around to go to her first class, Taylor was standing behind her with a smile on her face.