it's you, it's always been you

chapter 50

Sam thanked Olivia before she left and took her pills as soon as she got them.

She changed into her clothes, taking Deena's sweater off. She brought the sweater up to her face to smell it, immediately missing Deena.

She laid in bed, trying to fall asleep, but kept tossing and turning. The bed felt cold and nothing like Deena's.

She was still hurt by Deena, but she couldn't take being apart from her any longer.

Sam called Deena, not wanting to walk all the way to her house, knowing how weak she still was.

"Sam?"

Sam was shocked for a moment when she heard her name after the first ring.

"Yeah, I'm at my moms house, can you come get me?"

Olivia's words took Deena by surprise, but she knew Olivia would say anything to piss Deena off. She was hurt by the thought Sam would kiss someone else after a fight, but she knew Sam better than that. And she was so afraid what would happen if Sam stayed in that house any longer.

"On my way."

Deena's thoughts raced through her mind as she drove. What she wanted to say to Sam. And what she could do to make it up to Sam and not have her hate Deena.

She parked down the road from Sam's house, knowing how Sam's mom would be if she saw Deena.

Sam tried to be as quiet as possible as she made her way to the front door. But she heard a voice behind her that made her stop and turn around.

"You'll realize what she really is and come back to me again. Just like you did today, Samantha. You still are the girl you used to be before the cancer. You'll be back."

Sam shook her head at her mom "you didn't even visit me in the hospital. How could you do that to me?"

Sam didn't realize what she was saying until she saw the look on her mom's face. She turned and headed out the front door before her mom could answer.

Sam didn't look at Deena when she got into the passengers seat. She wasn't sure what to say to her. "Thanks." Sam mumbled, her gaze focused on her shoes.

"Sam, you have no idea how sorry I am. I should have told you I know. And I'm so sorry I hurt you. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I love you so much. It's still you and me, Sam. It always will be. I meant everything I said and all the promises I made and I'm keeping those. I won't break your trust again. I'm so sorry, Sam." Deena pleaded with Sam, almost begging her.

Sam looked out the window in front of her. "Can you just go to your house? I don't feel well. I just need to rest."

"Yeah, of course." Deena was hurt as Sam wouldn't look at her, but she started driving back to her house.

Sam got out of the car first, and headed to the front door, not waiting for Deena.

Deena watched as Sam kept walking away from her and unlocked the front door, holding it open for Sam. She watched as Sam laid on the couch, expecting for her to go to Deena's room.

"What are you doing? You can sleep in the bed." Deena moved near Sam.

"I'm going to sleep, goodnight."

Deena looked at Sam with complete sadness. Her heart ached to have Sam even look at her let alone talk to her about what happened at school.

"Sam, please." Deena waited a moment and watched as Sam didn't react or move.

Defeated, she made her way to her room and sat on her bed. It felt so empty and cold to not have Sam there.

Sam tried all night to keep herself from going into Deena's room. She tossed and turned and grew frustrated as she couldn't fall asleep.

Deena laid in bed, looking up at her ceiling. The words Sam said about wanting the cancer to take her replayed in her head. She already missed Sam so much even though they were in the same house, she wasn't close enough to her.

Deena couldn't bare it any longer and got up from bed and went to her door and opened it. Finding Sam right in front of the door.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. I regret it. I would do anything to take it back."

Sam looked into Deena's eyes, taking a moment to think before bringing her hands to the back of Deena's neck and kissing her with all the force she had.

She missed kissing her all day and craved to taste her lips again. She pushed Deena back into her room, shutting the door behind them

Deena was shocked for the moment when Sam kissed her, but kissed her back instantly and stepped back as Sam guided her body.

Sam led Deena to her bed, only taking her lips and hands off of her to take off her shirt and then Deena's.

She didn't plan this when she went to Deena's door, but when she saw the look on Deena's face when she opened the door, Sam longed for Deena to touch her.

Sam got aggressive with her lips just as she did in the hospital bathroom. Sam backed Deena onto the bed, straddling her again, a leg on each side of her.

Deena broke the kiss to bring her lips to Sam's collarbone, and slowly leave a trail of kisses up Sam's skin to her jaw.

"How sorry are you?" Sam asked, her hands moving to Deena's hair.

"I'm so sorry. With everything in me." Deena's hands went to Sam's waist, running her fingers up Sam's back.

"And how much do you love me?" Sam asked, her back arching towards Deena as her fingers grazed over Sam's bra.

"I love you so fucking much. More than anyone. More than anything. More than anyone has loved another person before." Deena spoke to Sam her lips against Sam's lips before she kissed her again.