it's you, it's always been you

chapter 84

Sam didn't choose to wear the dress she wore to the last party. That dress was too revealing and she only wanted Deena to see her in that dress.

So she wore one that wasn't as tight and revealing, hoping that would make her less noticeable than last time. She only wanted to spend time with Sophie and Taylor like she used to.

Deena heard Sophie's car beep out front of her house, meaning that it was time for Sam to leave.

"You look beautiful Sam, they are here." Deena told Sam when Sam came out of the bathroom.

"Thank you. I'll be home as soon as I can get them to leave, I promise. I love you, I'll be careful." Sam moved to the front door with Deena.

"I love you too. I'll be waiting for you." Deena put her hand on Sam's cheek to bring her closer and kiss her.

Sam smiled before opening the door and going to Sophie's car, before getting in, she turned and waved to Deena which Deena returned right away and thought it was adorable that Sam did that.

Deena watched as Sophie's car left and turn down to another street. She fell onto the couch in the living room. She asked Kate and Simon to hang out. But Simon was working a double and Kate was babysitting and Deena wasn't in the mood to deal with the kids Kate babysits.

She already missed Sam as she laid on the couch and watched whatever was on TV. She wasn't really paying attention to it, all she could think about was Sam and all the things that could go wrong.

Sam missed Deena. But she was also excited to feel like she used to before the cancer and getting shot and Caleb and her mom.

She did miss Sophie and Taylor. Everything was light between them, like they didn't know about how bad it got for Sam with the cancer and they didn't know about therapy or how awful her mom was.

So to them they didn't see her as this fucked up fragile pathetic girl that she felt like to everyone that knew what's happened with Sam.

As soon as they got to the party, Sam could tell that the house was packed. There were cars everywhere and people on the porch and lawn.

Taylor put her arm around Sam's shoulders as they headed inside. "Just like old times Sam! Finally we tore you away from your girlfriend." Taylor teased.

As soon as they walked through the door, another girl from the cheer team hand Sam a shot. She was hesitant but took the shot with the others.

Sophie's boyfriend came up and wrapped his wraps around Sophie. Taylor rolled her eyes and looked at Sam.

"Come on, let's go before it gets gross with these two or they try to make you join." Sam laughed at what Taylor said. She followed Taylor as guided them through the crowd.

They made it to the kitchen she made them both a drink and gave Sam one.

"So tell me about you and Deena. I know I heard a bunch of rumors and saw you guys at your locker before. But then you jumped in front of a bullet for her, so I hope people left you guys alone after that."

"I guess it has been a little different after I came back. I mean people said stuff, of course. Mostly at me but I was prepared for it. We hid it for awhile but it was because I was scared. But I'm not anymore. I've loved her for a long time and I was scared of it but not anymore. My mom was the one who treat us the worst but I'm not around her anymore."

"Fuck your mom. She was always so fucking strange." Taylor said. Then Sam watched as Taylor took two more shots back to back then downed her drink. Her jaw dropping some at the sight.

"Holy shit, you always puke too when you drink like that." Sam said as she rolled her eyes at Taylor.

"Oh whatever. You used to drink so much worse and then let some guy grope you. Now I know why you had to get drunk before you let a guy even touch you to dance with you."

"Yeah you're right. I'm honestly so glad to not have to kiss another man for the rest of my life." Sam said as she let out a giggle.

"The rest of your life?"

"That's the plan. I don't want it any other way."

"Wow, pussy changes people. Might try it sometime."

"Oh my God, Tay. But I wouldn't say you're wrong." Sam said with a smirk and caused Taylor to bust out laughing.

"Fuck, you're right I feel nauseous. Why do I do this to myself. Shit," Taylor grabbed Sam's hand and went on search of a bathroom.

"Why do I have to go with you every time you throw up? I'm not getting close enough to hold your hair back."

Taylor finally opened a door and found a bathroom. She went straight to the toilet, and sat in front of it.

Sam sat on the counter of the sink, and closed her eyes so she wouldn't see the puke. "If you puke I'll puke and and that's not fair. I've puked enough when I had cancer."

Taylor stood after she waited for few more seconds to see if she was going to puke yet.

"Sam, I'm sorry I didn't reach out to you when you were in the hospital. I didn't think it was that serious and that you would be back any day."

Sam opened her eyes as she spoke. Taylor moved to stand in front of Sam and wrapped her arms tightly around Sam's shoulders and Sam winced as she felt the pain in her side.

"It's okay. I kept it a secret as long as I could. Kate only saw first because she saw me puke blood."

Taylor pulled back some then she noticed Sam's necklace. "Wow, you are whipped. That's cute. Her initial as a necklace. I get why she's always been so in love with you. You're easy to get a crush on. You're too nice to everyone. And Deena's been clearly in love with you for years. We all knew and saw it. Especially when she dragged you out the party when a guy started flirting and touching you."

Sam pulled back some when Taylor leaned in suddenly to run her fingers over the D of Sam's necklace.

"What are you doing, Taylor?" Sam asked as she moved to get off the counter but Taylor took a step to stand in front of her and put a hand on Sam's thigh, stopping her.

"What would you say if I told you I had a girl crush on you too?"

Sam was taken back from Taylor's question. "What the fuck Taylor? I can't believe"

Sam was cut off by Taylor grabbing her face suddenly and kissing her. Sam's hands went straight to Taylor's shoulders and pushed her off with all her strength.

Taylor fell back. "Im sorry Sam I just want to see what.."

Sam didn't hear the rest of her sentence as she ran out of the bathroom, disgusted that it even happened.

Sam had to walk through the kitchen to go to the front door. She grabbed a bottle of vodka and went out the front door. She barely had a clue where she was going and how to get back to Deena's house, but she had to get as far away from Taylor as possible.