it's you, it's always been you

chapter 47

Sam woke up before Deena, she showered and got dressed. She remembered the letter she wrote to Deena if something happened to her. Her dad told her that he gave it to Deena.

She told Deena that she wanted to give her a blue house, the white picket fence, a dog, a kid, a wife. Sam wrote about how she wanted to bake Deena's favorite cinnamon rolls that Deena's mom taught Sam how to make.

Sam's mom would have Sam help in the kitchen, but it was never like how Deena's mom was with Sam.

She didn't talk to Deena about it, but Sam missed Deena's mom everyday. She was the only loving mother figure for Sam. Sam even remembers the day her mom yelled at Sam for eating a cookie, and Deena's mom stepped in and stuck up for Sam. Even though it was years ago, Sam will never forget it.

Sam came over almost everyday in the summer since the time they met. Deena's mom tried to get Deena involved with baking and cooking, but Deena thought it was too heteronormative for her to do so. So one day Deena's mom asked Sam to help, and Sam said yes right away, and from then on, Sam was always right next to Deena's mom in the kitchen.

Most holidays, Sam ended up at the Johnsons. She would stay at her house long enough for her mother's parties, and then sneak out to Deena's house.

A few weeks before Deena's mom passed away, she showed Sam the secret recipe to Deena's favorite cinnamon rolls. While she taught Sam, she told her how thankful she was to have Sam in Deena's life. She told Sam how she noticed that each of them were their best selfs when they were together. She said that she knew Sam would always be a huge part of Deena's life. That Sam and Deena were family, but not as sisters.

The last time Sam saw her, Deena's mom hugged her and they both cried. Sam whispered to her that she was the mom she always wanted.

Sam thought about that conversation often. She never told Deena about it and doubted that Deena's mom told Deena either.

So Sam woke up early enough to make those cinnamon rolls. She knew that they didn't use their kitchen very much, and pizza was the dinner of choice, and Sam loved pizza of course, but she wanted to do more for them now that she was staying here as far as she knew. She wanted to bake and cook all the things Deena's mom taught her.

Deena turned to her side and reached to wrap her arm around Sam. She felt around the bed and realized it was just her. She opened her eyes when she could smell food being made in the kitchen. For a moment she thought it was Josh, but then she remembered Josh wouldn't wake up this early.

Deena stood against the doorway to the kitchen, a smile on her lips as she watched the girl she loved move around in the kitchen as she baked.

Deena remembered the letter Sam wrote, when she said she wanted to bake for Deena everyday. And she felt as if it was deja vu as she stood there and watched Sam bake. She felt like she caught a glimpse of her future with Sam, and it made her heart skip a beat.

"Oh, hey! Good morning, I woke up early and, well, had an idea." Sam placed the cinnamon rolls on the table, and stepped closer to Deena to kiss her.

"Good morning to you too," Deena felt so happy, so elevated, so at peace to see Sam smiling and moving around.

Sam sat at the table and patted the seat next to her for Deena to join her.

"Wow, these look..... just like my mom's, this is amazing, Sam. Thank you, I love you," Deena was in awe of Sam. How she woke up early to do this for her, how she remembered her mom's recipe, how she survived cancer and was now sitting next to her at her kitchen table. 

"I love you too, I put a few on a plate for your Dad with a note in the fridge, I didn't want to wake Josh up but there's obviously enough for everyone," Sam said as she brought one on a plate for Deena.

Deena stood there, facing Sam with a huge smile on her face. She was stunned, and at the same time, falling in love with Sam more by the second, just when she thought she couldn't love anyone more.

She stepped towards Sam and grabbed her face with both of her hands and kissed her, nearly knocking Sam over with how much energy she put into the kiss. Sam gripped onto Deena's waist for balance. Sam backed up to the wall behind her, and pulled Deena with her, Sam's hands slowly made their way under Deena's shirt.

"What is that smell? Oh! Seriously guys!" Josh yelled when he walked into the kitchen, first trying to find what was being cooked then found his sister making out with her girlfriend.

Deena and Sam pulled away when they heard Josh's voice and started laughing.

"Sam made mom's cinnamon rolls, sir silence," Deena joked as she turned from Sam and patted the top of Josh's hair.

Josh rolled his eyes as he took a bite out of one of the rolls. "This is really good Sam, thanks. Now if I have to worry about catching you guys making out now, I deserve to be rewarded with cinnamon rolls."

"That's fair. I'll make that deal." Sam said playfully as she sat back down at the table. Both Deena and Josh joined her and they ate before they got ready for school.