it's you, it's always been you

chapter 104

"Whatever," Deena said as she pushed Simon off her shoulders. "As long as Taylor's scared of me at least then I'm tough. Even if I cry in front of you guys."

Deena turned to look around the room for Taylor. They were in the same grade so they had the same lunch together. She was grateful that they didn't have any classes together.

Deena spotted Taylor at a table across the room and saw that Taylor was already looking at her. As soon as Deena locked eyes with her, she turned away quickly and moved seats.

Deena smirked at how fearful Taylor seemed to be when Deena looked at her. "Okay that was creepy, I was looking for her and Taylor was already staring at me. What shit is she trying to pull?"

"I'm going to talk to her today about her and Sam. She's being too fucking shady lately to not say something." Kate huffed as she tried to look for Taylor also.

"No, I'll say something. I'll be fine, but it's my girlfriend and I can't take it any longer. Not right now with other stuff going on." Deena said as she clenched her jaw.

"When are you? Now?" Simon asked. He's never seen Deena this angry to confront someone other than Caleb before.

"After school, right before I leave."

"My locker is near hers, you have to wait for me." Kate said. She hasn't seen Deena this angry in awhile and the last person she argued with was Caleb and she kicked him in the crouch so who knows what Deena would do this time.

Throughout the rest of Deena's classes, all she thought about was what she was going to say to Taylor.

She thought about how Sam ran away from the party when she was drunk and just walking the sidewalks around Shadyside after Taylor kissed her.

Her hands turned into fists as the image of Taylor caressing Sam's face while she was asleep ran through her mind again.

The last bell rang and Deena was the first one out of the room and went straight to Kate's locker. She could see Taylor getting to hers with Sophie next to her.

"Deena you need to calm down first." Kate grabbed Deena's shoulder to get her attention.

"I am calm. I'm chill." Deena tore her eyes from Taylor to Kate.  

"You're not chill. You're fuming, you're about to explode. I know you."

"Look, are you coming or not?" Deena rolled her eyes. She hasn't calmed down since Sam's mom walked into Sam's dad's house.

Kate was right beside Deena as they walked down to Taylor's locker. Kate puts a hand on Deena's shoulder if she needs to hold her back.

As soon as Taylor turned around to face them, Deena was about to speak but Kate beat her to it.

"I don't know what shit you're trying to pull. You kissed Sam when she was drunk and you've been so fucking weird while telling Sam you have a crush on her," Kate knew it was better if Deena didn't start this, because Deena would be more extreme and tense with Taylor.

Taylor's jaw hung agape as her face turned a deep shade of pink. "I-I never.. kissed her or....did that."

"You did what Taylor? You kissed Sam?" Sophie was stunned as her voice got louder as she questions Taylor.

"No... I didn't. It wasn't like that. I'm..not trying to pull anything... I didn't do anything." Taylor looked too scared to look at anyone so she kept her head down.

"We both know exactly what you did. Don't kiss my girlfriend again when she's drunk. That's fucked up. And to hold her face like you're about to kiss her again when she's asleep. Just stay the fuck away from her. She doesn't need your bullshit and drama on top of everything else she's going through." Deena's jaw and fists clenched as she held herself back.

"Y-You should be thanking me like Sam did. For saving her....w-when you weren't there," Taylor spoke then finally looked up at Deena.

"Fuck you," Deena scorned as she moved to go towards Taylor.

Kate moved in front of Deena and held her shoulders. "No, D, it's not worth it. This can get you in trouble with NYU. Sam needs you." Kate pushes Deena back a few feet.

"Sam needs you and you can't go after Taylor. She's done so much fucked up shit I know. But doing something to her will only get you in trouble."

Deena sighed as she turned in the other direction Taylor was in. Kate was right that it could mess up things with NYU and that's the only reason Deena didn't yell or scream with Taylor anymore.

Deena left out the doors to go to her car, the only thing that could make this day and her better was Sam's voice so she headed home to call her.

Sam was exhausted. She just returned to her room from getting more scans done. She's been coughing much more often now and a low fever grew.

She felt numb. Going through this and being alone. Just watching as family members get to see their loved ones in their hospital rooms.

All Sam wanted to do was sleep. She hasn't been hungry for anything  because she just kept coughing.

Her phone rang and she knew it was Deena but she didn't move from the bed to answer it. She was tired and weak and didn't want to move anymore. She also felt that she was distancing herself from Deena and her dad and her friends. But that's how she used to deal with her pain before, by herself.

Now she was isolated and had to go through this alone while everyone else was okay.

Sam didn't pick up the first time and the second time Deena called a few minutes after the first one.